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Published on November 15th, 2018 | by Eaalim Institute | Views: 186

Men, know your Responsibilities

You have to give your wife her rights

You have to give your children their rights

You have to give your siblings their rights

You have to give yourself your rights

You have to balance all of these things

If you don’t balance them

then you will end up doing zulm

injustice – wrong – to at least one of them

Either yourself

you’ll be wronging yourself

You’ll end up wronging your children. There are some people that are so obsessed

with giving to their parents
and giving to the parents
and giving to the parents

That they even take from the rights of their children

And sometimes there are parents

who ask

and ask

and ask

and ask

and

they take more than their right

When they use the Ayah of Quran and say: “Well, no matter how much you do for me, it’s never enough”

“So give me everything”

“Give me everything”

and we’ll use the Ayah on you

Ihsan to them comes from Allah,
it’s not defined by them

Please understand this delicate point

What your parents

What you should do for your parents is not defined by them

It’s defined by you and Allah

If they’re asking you to sacrifice the well-being of the people in your care

If they’re asking you, for example, some parents ask the husband

to punish the wife

to not talk to her anymore

Some parents ask the husband

to

not allow

some basic rights in the family

You can’t do that!

You can’t allow that!

When you married a woman, you took her in your care

and you promised to be her wali

You promised to protect her

you took the place that her father used to have

her father would protected her, no matter what

and you signed a Nikah

[akhazna minkum misaqan galiza]

you took a heavy contract from them

and now they’re under your care

So I don’t care what your mom told you

or what your dad told you

you can’t do wrong by your wife

But the flip is also true

you can’t listen to your spouse

and do wrong by your parents

Let me tell you what that means

gentlemen

myself included

You’re going to live a life in which somebody is going to be unhappy with you

always

Congratulations!

to manhood

Welcome to the club!

Somebody will be upset with you

Your father will tell you “you’re not a good enough son”, your mother will say “you love your wife more than you love me”

Your wife will say “you don’t really love me, you just love your parents, I’m nothing to you”

Your children will say – you know -“you’re always with grandparents -with grandpa and grandma – you don’t care about us”

Your parents will say “you care more about your kids in your family, you forgotten about us”

“We’re just trash to you”

Everybody’s going to think that you don’t do anything

You’re useless

And let me tell you, the only time they might appreciate you is at your Janazah

“He was so good to us”

“He was really good”

You find parents

when their children are alive

“huh”

And when they die

“He was such a good son”

“He was perfect”

“He used to take so much care of me”

Don’t – for as men – let me tell you something

Don’t expect to live a life of appreciation

Just don’t

Grow a thick skin

But then again

you are – you are – you can’t be – you’re not angels

you’re human beings

and when you are being pulled in every direction

and everybody is dissatisfied with you

and everybody’s unhappy with you

then eventually something inside you will break

eventually

You can’t balance all of this

you just can’t!

You’re going to have to learn

to do – to find a balance between two things

One:

you get so angry and say: “I can never make anyone happy anyway, so I stop trying”

“forget everyone”

The other extreme:

you keep trying to make everyone happy, and the only one miserable left is who?

Yourself

you’re miserable

and when you’re miserable

You can’t be good to anybody else

You’re no longer going to be able to be a good father,

a good husband, a good son

You can’t do those things if you’ve lost yourself

you cannot

There are sometimes in our relationships that we are the abuser

the men are the abuser

We’re the ones that are not giving the rights

And sometimes we are in relationships where the people that need from us

the people that depend on us – become abusive

they become abusive towards us

You have to draw that line

of what your rights are

You have to be able to demand your rights
At the same time, you have to make sure you’re not an oppressor

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

And you can watch these video also to Nauman Ali Khan

 

The Way She Walks | Subtitled https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JclLAi0zBBI&index=50&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B
Worldly Consequences of our Sins | Subtitled https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeJS_Bb1Jz8&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B&index=51
Why women aren’t allowed to Pray when they have Menstruation/Periods? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-KGN_htNK0&index=52&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B
Types and Cost of ignorance mentioned in Quran https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OuwQKHYIs0&index=53&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B
Heal your heart with Quran https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XnRRZL3wrc&index=54&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B
Allah Doesn’t Hear Me | Subtitled https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBGzWhr4GZQ&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B&index=55
Work with ihsan – Be the Best At what you do | Subtitled https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yei07gphDxs&index=56&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B
First 35 episodes | Understand Quran and Salaah Easy Way | illustrated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWg0w6leoIY&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B&index=57
You are special to Allah swt (Complete Video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvF1chKszpY&index=58&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B
Critical Thinker | Subtitled https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4QpE-YOI7M&index=59&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B
The Work of Shaytan (Complete) | Subtitled https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvsVXoLpT8Q&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B&index=60
One Ummah | Subtitled https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb-qPNyCpuI&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B&index=61
Parenting Lessons from Quran (Complete) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JerMjG1HrIE&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B&index=62
The Work of Shaytan | Part II https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gonGXPm26Ec&index=63&list=PL9FAFF6EAFC83910B

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