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Published on February 4th, 2019 | by Eaalim Institute | Views: 260

Listen to Your Children – Parenting Lesson From Quran | Subtitled


What about quitting job for Jum`ah?”Free Quran Education


[Ith qala yoosufu liabeehi]
Yusuf (a.s.) – we all know the story – talked to his dad

he talked to his father

and the language – it has many signs in it

[ith] – actually the word [ith] is used for a particular time

so when at a particular moment Yusuf (a.s.) spoke to his father


when the child speaks to you

it actually seems to indicate that it was on the child’s schedule

when the father speaks to the child then it’s on the father’s schedule

the father decided that at what time you should speak

the child decides in this case at what time you should speak

now, a father

Which we’re going to learn actually in the opposite case in Surah Luqman

the father speaks to the son
[ith qaala luqmanu libnihi]

it’s the other way around

when the father speaks – as opposed to when the child speaks – there is a difference

a father can pick
“what’s the best time to talk to my child?”

“when is he going to listen to me well?”

“or if I find that he’s in the middle of something right now”

“or he’s busy – or he’s heading off to school”

“or he’s upset right now – maybe it’s not the best time to talk to him”

maybe I should be smarter about when I should pick a time”

but a child – does a child discriminate?

“is this not a good time to bring something up?”

you have children – you know

our kids bring things up to us whether we’re on the phone

whether we’re at work in a meeting

whether you’re cooking something

your daughter will tug at your clothes and say
“mama? ma? ma? where’s my toy?”

“where’s my other shoe?”

right? they don’t say:
“well, maybe this is not a good time”

“mom’s holding two phones in their hands right now and a baby” – you know

“there’s smoke coming out of the stove, but maybe this is not a good time to ask about my pink ribbon”

but they don’t discriminate -they just say it

they just say it – and you say:
“can you hold on? I’m going a little crazy right now”

you know – we do that

because we say:
“why can’t you – why don’t you have the sense to know…”

“what is a good time to talk to me and when is not a good time to talk to me?”

the first point I’m trying to make is:

parents can discriminate when is a good time and one is not a good time – we’re smart – we’re adults

children don’t discriminate

children – whenever a feeling comes in their heart – whenever a thought comes to them – they say it

they don’t figure
“I don’t know – I think this is not a good time”
they don’t do that

there’s only two things a child will end up doing:

1) either they’ll speak to you whenever

2) or they’ll stop speaking to you

they’re not going to go in between and say:
“I should schedule my comments with my parents”

they don’t have that emotional intelligence

you can’t expect unrealistic adult-like things from children

that’s an adult expectation from a child

so this ayah when Yusuf (a.s.) spoke to his dad as a child

you know what that means? he spoke on his schedule

like he didn’t pick a good time to talk to his dad – he’s just a kid

so he spoke whenever

and what father -he didn’t just say “this is not a good time right now -come back later”

“I’m in the middle of something – I’m reading Tourat right now” they didn’t read Quran back then

“I’m reading Tourat right now – talk to me later – let me finish prayer – let me finish my sunnah

“hold on -I’m cooking right now, I’m working at”
no actually, he sat there and listened

he sat there and listened – what does this tell us?

it tells us that in a society

especially in a society when there are all these different elements and forces

that are out taking people away from Islam

one of the things that we have to go out of our way to do

is to be good listeners to our children whenever they meet us

which means, as parents…

you know – when I

just think about [ith qala yoosufu li abeehi] for myself as a parent

you know what I decide?

I decide that when I go home, my cell phone is not going to be as available as it typically is

my calls will end in the car on the driveway

and the text messaging and the responses will all die down once I enter the house

because my kids are going to be tugging at me and asking me

and telling me things that matter or don’t matter – that doesn’t even matter

but the fact that they feel like whenever they tell me something, I’m there to listen

it is important to them

I have six kids

this one is going to come with me with an art project – the other one made a box

the other one – you know – just bent a straw and thought that was the most amazing thing they’ve ever done

they’re gonna come with randoms things – I’m not going to say:

“bring me something more impressive than that next time” or “don’t waste my time”

no – I need to make them feel like I’m there to listen to them

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