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Published on February 9th, 2019 | by Eaalim Institute | Views: 130

HOW TO DEAL WITH OPPOSITE GENDER? | Subtitled

Nots

Do you want to know abaut Sahaba {companions of prophen Muhammad ?PBUH Log on to “Free Quran Education“on Youtube

Script

there is – the Rasool ﷺ actually had a specified time where he would teach women

where he would do that

especially the women of Medina

and actually the women of Medina were different from the women of Makkah

they were actually a lot more bold

and the Sahaba even noticed

they were like – Umar ؓ said “they’re not like the women of Makkah”

so…. there was a difference between them

and they’re outspoken
and we even know that from like
you know

many آثار and many hadith texts

like you know – Umar ؓ is giving Khutbah and a woman gets up

and says “you cant say that.. Allah said this…”

like “lady – why are you not in the sisters’ section behind a glass?”

“Why are you…”

and you’re talking to Umar ؓ

Umarؓ

you don’t want to like point a finger at Umar ؓ like that

but she did – she’s just like gutsy lady – you know

he did that

and you know – there are sometimes there are assumption that men and women should not interact with each other at all

under any circumstance – that’s what Islam wants

that isn’t true

as a matter of fact

non mahram – man and woman talking to each other in public outside is mentioned in the Quran

Musaٔ went up to two girls that were not his mahram

then he went over and talked to them and said “What’s wrong with you ladies?”

مَا خَطْبُكُمَا
“what’s wrong with you?

and they said “well what we can’t feed our animals until the whole flock is done”

they had a conversation

he didn’t go up to them and said “assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

يا اختي في الاسلام
“my two sisters in Islam”

he doesn’t even know if they’re Muslims

they don’t know him – he doesn’t know them

they don’t know he’s Musaٔ – they don’t know that

they don’t know any of that – but they had a conversation with each other

a non-mahram talking to another non-mahram

about what?
a problem

they were wrestling with sheep

so he had to go talk to them

what are you doing?
what’s going on?
can I help with something?

but he didn’t talk prolong the conversation – he kept it to the point

what are we learning in Quran?

if you keep your conversation to the point, it’s fine

you might have a female co-worker

you might have a class – I have students – I have to answer their questions

they have a right to me as much as the brothers have a right to me

because I’m teaching a class – it’s a matter of justice

I can’t put them in the back and not give them the same kind of attention, it’s not fair

and I brought this up – in education is it fair or not? it’s acceptable

there are ulema that are more conservative on this and there are ulema that allow it too

but there are plenty of mainstream Ahlus Sunnah across the schools-of-thought scholars that allow this

that allow e.g. this kind of setting if it’s met with certain kind of restrictions

you know – there shouldn’t be small talk

even if I crack a joke, it’s to the entire audience not to sisters by themselves – because that’s inappropriate

that’s not right, right?

and you’re supposed to have a certain line – there’s supposed to be a certain line of discomfort between you and myself

or between you and any other non-mahram

there’s supposed to be a line of discomfort

there’s supposed to be a level of seriousness

you’re not supposed to be giggly

when you come up individually and talk to a non-mahram man

you’re not supposed to be like:
hehehe.. I have a question”

No!
“I have a question brother”

“you said this – why?”

learn to be like that

learn not to be giggly around non-mahram men

not smiley

“Jazak Allahu Khairan for so many things you are doing”

No!

say that on your own – don’t come up and say it to me

don’t come up and say it to me

say that to your dad

“Jazak Allahu Khairan baba”

“you’re so awesome – great”

When you come up to a non-mahram – if it’s your teacher, if it’s the imam of the masjid, if it’s your employer

keep a serious tone

keep a serious tone

you know – when a woman uses a serious tone, the man becomes serious automatically

girl comes up to you – you think she’s kind of pretty

she comes up to you ans says “Salam Alaikum!”

you’re not going to get to play around now – it’s done – it’s over

but she comes up to you and says “Assalam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

no good – no good for you

then you’re gonna go, “oh, wa alaikum salam”

that’s bad for you

so you – you know – you have to keep a stern voice

and these rules I’m kind of alluding to this – Surah Nur already covers them

these rules are already there – you have to keep a stern voice

you have to keep your eyes low

doesn’t mean you look away like

“brother, I have a question but….”
you know- don’t do that either

but you don’t stare at the person

“yes sister, do ask”

no, not like that

يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ
يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ
that’s normal

it’s not like over the top with the ideas to keep yourself low – don’t stare

you know – make just enough eye contact to get your point across and that’s it

that’s all – you don’t need more than that – you know

so these certain things

they are the guidelines by which public settings make it OK
you

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