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Allah (Subhanahu Ta'ala) created men and women very differently men - their biggest weakness is women they could be rich or they could be poor they could be - you know - healthy and not very healthy you know - skinny and fat and tall doesn't matter, what culture - what language all of them have the same weakness = women and women - Allah Almighty - in many in majority cases, he made them oblivious to this weakness of men they don't realize how bad it is so when the verse comes and a woman reads it "lower their gaze" "oh yeah, I could do that" and they're like: "what's the big deal? why can't men just lower their gaze?" and you tell "you don't understand?" "What don't I understand?" "you have eyes - I have eyes - they have retina" you know - it processes the same information so what's the problem? you see they don't understand the power of this desire that Allah (Subhanahu Ta'ala) put inside of us and mentioned as number 1 [zuyyina lilnnasi hubbu al-shshahawati mina al-nisa] number 1 of the desires that were beautified for men were desires for women right? the number one temptation the Prophet ﷺ fears for the men of this nation is what? women because it's a serious problem so if the wives understand that then instead of condemning their husband "why are you so weak?" "how come you can't control your eyes?" instead of knowing - they would accept this is the creation of Allah (Shubhanahu Ta'ala) you have to you - the wife has a role of supporting her husband and becoming strong and she can do that by warding temptations off from him not by lecturing him you know -and this is the other thing that's very important for wives to understand the husband - he goes to the office or he goes to the train and there are women horribly dressed they're sitting there - smiling at everybody - trying to - you know basically, this is all these women have in terms of their dignity they're not respected for their intellect they're not respected for their opinions so all they think is we're going to be respected if men see more of our - you know -our shame so they dress in Indecent fashion because when men look at them, they feel kind of -you know self-respect that "I'm worth something, people are looking at me" that's basically what it is - it's really horrible - it's sad but then they go to the office and the secretary smiling at you saying: "how are you? how was your day?" you know, "what are you getting for lunch? oh, you're fasting? oh that's nice" and then you go you know and every ad, women are smiling at you and then you get home and you open the door and they wife says "where were you?" "the train was late" "oh, everyday the train is late, I understand!" you know and there's a frown every day and the first day - it's okay the second day - it's okay 10 years of this - 12 years of this what's going to happen? the husband has resentment towards the wife - even if he doesn't say anything he's building resentment inside and the simple solution of the Messenger ﷺ a smile of the wife when the husband comes you know how big a deal this is? this is not a small thing it stabs the husband when the husband comes home and the wife doesn't care and you know - he's very disturbed by that - he may not say something but it really really hurts husbands and it hurts the relationship and it comes out in weird ways now that they're hurt - they're kind of upset as they're having dinner "oh, there's not enough salt in here" and they're extra angry at the kids - they're frustrated but the same scenario the wife opens the door and she greets the husband with a smile just a smile - it's not expensive but what happens? the rest of the night goes smoothly the husband's in a good mood he's talking to her otherwise, "I don't want to talk right now, I have a headache" this is not going to happen all started from where? just one little act of the wife these are simple solutions, but they're powerful solutions and you don't take care of these solutions and this baggage just keeps adding up and adding up and adding up and that's where you get those statistics because the husband doesn't want to look at the wife, she's just annoying you know - "she just says this or that" - right? so both sides have to understand - they have to take care of the other side 90 00:04:10,960 --> 00:00:00,000 instead of expecting from the other side - just make a goal for yourself to take care of the other side

Published on February 4th, 2019 | by Eaalim Institute | Views: 130

How to be a Good Wife? | Subtitled

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Script

Allah (Subhanahu Ta’ala) created men and women very differently

men – their biggest weakness is women

they could be rich or they could be poor

they could be – you know – healthy and not very healthy

you know – skinny and fat and tall

doesn’t matter, what culture – what language

all of them have the same weakness = women

and women – Allah Almighty – in many

in majority cases, he made them oblivious to this weakness of men

they don’t realize how bad it is

so when the verse comes and a woman reads it
“lower their gaze”

“oh yeah, I could do that”

and they’re like: “what’s the big deal? why can’t men just lower their gaze?”

and you tell

“you don’t understand?”
“What don’t I understand?”

“you have eyes – I have eyes – they have retina”

you know – it processes the same information

so what’s the problem?

you see

they don’t understand the power of this desire that Allah (Subhanahu Ta’ala) put inside of us

and mentioned as number 1

[zuyyina lilnnasi hubbu al-shshahawati mina al-nisa]

number 1 of the desires that were beautified for men

were desires for women

right?

the number one temptation the Prophet ﷺ fears for the men of this nation is what?

women

because it’s a serious problem

so if the wives understand that

then instead of condemning their husband
“why are you so weak?”

“how come you can’t control your eyes?”

instead of knowing – they would accept this is the creation of Allah (Shubhanahu Ta’ala)

you have to

you – the wife has a role of supporting her husband and becoming strong

and she can do that by warding temptations off from him

not by lecturing him

you know -and this is the other thing that’s very important for wives to understand

the husband – he goes to the office

or he goes to the train

and there are women horribly dressed

they’re sitting there – smiling at everybody – trying to – you know

basically, this is all these women have in terms of their dignity

they’re not respected for their intellect

they’re not respected for their opinions

so all they think is we’re going to be respected if men see more of our – you know -our shame

so they dress in Indecent fashion because when men look at them, they feel kind of -you know

self-respect

that “I’m worth something, people are looking at me”

that’s basically what it is – it’s really horrible – it’s sad

but then they go to the office and the secretary smiling at you saying: “how are you? how was your day?”

you know, “what are you getting for lunch? oh, you’re fasting? oh that’s nice”

and then you go you know and every ad, women are smiling at you and then you get home

and you open the door

and they wife says “where were you?”

“the train was late”

oh, everyday the train is late, I understand!”

you know

and there’s a frown every day

and the first day – it’s okay
the second day – it’s okay

10 years of this – 12 years of this
what’s going to happen?

the husband has resentment towards the wife – even if he doesn’t say anything

he’s building resentment inside

and the simple solution of the Messenger ﷺ

a smile of the wife when the husband comes

you know how big a deal this is?

this is not a small thing

it stabs the husband when the husband comes home and the wife doesn’t care

and you know – he’s very disturbed by that – he may not say something

but it really really hurts husbands

and it hurts the relationship and it comes out in weird ways

now that they’re hurt – they’re kind of upset

as they’re having dinner “oh, there’s not enough salt in here”

and they’re extra angry at the kids – they’re frustrated

but the same scenario

the wife opens the door and she greets the husband with a smile

just a smile – it’s not expensive

but what happens? the rest of the night goes smoothly

the husband’s in a good mood

he’s talking to her

otherwise, “I don’t want to talk right now, I have a headache”

this is not going to happen

all started from where? just one little act of the wife

these are simple solutions, but they’re powerful solutions

and you don’t take care of these solutions

and this baggage just keeps adding up and adding up and adding up

and that’s where you get those statistics

because the husband doesn’t want to look at the wife, she’s just annoying

you know – “she just says this or that” – right?

so both sides have to understand – they have to take care of the other side
instead of expecting from the other side – just make a goal for yourself to take care of the other side

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