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Published on January 26th, 2019 | by Eaalim Institute | Views: 233

How to be a Good husband & a Good wife?


What sort of peakle are the Muslim ordercd not to deal with ? Do waut to know – log on to free’Free

Quran Education”


speaking of the best husband I want to

tell you a story a really good one on

this subject

making people conscious of Allah you

don’t just invite people to have taqwa

of Allah with your words your character

says a lot a friend of mine he became a

friend actually on a short trip told me

about how he was raised in a Muslim

family his Guyanese origin and in Guyana

there’s Muslims that are committed and

there’s Muslims that have mixed their

religion with Hinduism and some Muslims

that are just Wilson by name and they’ve

completely almost lost everything of the

religion they almost know nothing of the

religion and he was of the latter type

he almost knew nothing about the

religion so as he was growing up in New

York he almost completely just wasn’t

even practically Muslim I used to you

know get into fights with his mother you

went to jail a couple of times in gangs

all kinds of stuff later on in life he

decides he wants to you know he’s

looking for God and he knows by at least

by name he’s Muslim I think his name was

Mohammed or something right my name is

Muslim so you should look into what

religion first Islam so he starts

looking into Islam starts going to the

much it starts learning how to pray

again becomes more serious at the time

he was you know he had married his

girlfriend who was Christian or whatever

and he starts becoming more serious

about the religion and then his wife

notices that he’s praying and the beer

has gone from the fridge and he’s not

going out with his drinking buddies and

he doesn’t go to Atlantic City on the

weekends he’s a different guy

something’s changed you know and he

doesn’t say anything to her he just on

his own you didn’t yell at her didn’t

tell her to you know put a hijab on or

whatever lose all her friends he didn’t

dude I knew that he went to a scholar

and I think I make du’a for the scholar

that he went to he didn’t tell me his

name but he said I went to my scholar

and I told him look I’m becoming more

and more aware of Islam but my wife of

course is a Christian and she’s not even

a practicing Christian she’s just kind

of what I was before she’s exactly like

I was before how do I help her he said

don’t tell her a thing about Islam just

be the best husband you can be and to do

that just steady what kind of a husband

the Prophet was Soler something just do

that don’t worry about what you need to

tell her worry about being the best

possible husband and that is the Sunnah

of the messenger a subtle Salaam the

messenger would buy his wife gifts the

messenger would Joe

with his wife the messenger was spent

time with the mother of the believers

the messenger would praise and

compliment them with other believers he

would compliment them you guys eat the

first first morsel of food and if father

like me and the wife says what you got

nothing right you drink that some of the

Dacey’s here drink the first little sip

of less Elam I know the economy’s bad

but are we really that short on sugar

you know very difficult for you to say a

compliment I understand it but it’s a

sunnah guys good food that’s amazing you

know and yours were so you our wives are

that the sisters are so used to hearing

nasty things from us then when we say

nice things they get freaked out like if

the husband just says you look really

nice today gee what do you want she gets

worried like he’s up to it you know we

gotta fix that that’s a problem it can’t

be healthy so he starts doing these

things with his wife and in the

beginning used to argue with her

sometimes about Islam and tell her how

Christianity doesn’t make sense how can

three be one and one be three all those

kinds of arguments you’ve heard them

before right and none of those would

work with his wife none of them he’s

like no no I’m Christian and that said

Jesus in my heart leave me alone

three years go by he stops talking to

her about Christianity and how dumb it

is or whatever stops debating with her

he’s just being what he can be as the

best husband and one day he’s making

motive and his wife joins him in salat

and he’s in salat it messes up is salah

like you know right so he gives you know

he’s after salat he looks at her he goes

what happened and she goes what nothing

and he goes no you have to tell me what


and of course she says what pretty much

any wife would say it’s complicated okay

but eventually she tells him and she

tells him look I’ve never seen a husband

like you my dad wasn’t like that I’ve

never seen a father like you the way you

are with our child I’ve never seen a

father be like that it’s so beautiful it

this religion can’t be wrong it can’t be

wrong this is it doc Ola you see how

aware you are of Allah and your life

right it’s not how many ayat you’ve

memorized how many a hadith you know how

much knowledge you can spit out at

someone how many quotes from scholars

you can deliver it’s not about that now

how are you living your life people can

see that you’re calling people to the

taqwa of Allah Aziz Allah subhanAllah

Allah created men and women very

differently men their biggest weakness

is women there could be Richard there

could be poor there could be you know

healthy and not very healthy

you know skinny and fat or tall doesn’t

matter what culture what language all of

them have the same weakness women and

women allah azzawajal many in majority

cases he made them oblivious to this

weakness of men they don’t realize how

bad it is

so when the ayah comes and a woman reads

it lower their gaze oh yeah I could do

that and they’re like what’s the big

deal why can’t men just lower their gaze

and you you don’t understand what don’t

I understand you have eyes I have as

they have retina you know it processes

the same information so what’s the

problem you see they’re not they don’t

understand the power of this desire that

allah subhanho wa taala put inside of us

and mentioned as number one zoo year the

nasa bush shahe wat banan Nyssa number

one of the desires that were beautified

for men were desires for women right the

number one fitna the prophet sallallaahu

set of fears for the men of this oh my

as what women because it’s a serious

problem so though if the wives

understand that then instead of

condemning their husbands are you so

weak how come you can’t control your

eyes instead of knowing that they would

accept this is the creation of Allah

Sultan Allah

you have to you the wife has a role of

supporting her husband

becoming strong and she can do that by

warding temptations off from him not by

lecturing him you know and and this is

the other thing that’s very important

for wives to understand the husband he

goes to the office or he goes to the

train and there are women horribly

dressed they’re sitting there smiling at

everybody trying to you know basically

this is all these women have in terms of

their dignity they’re not respected for

their intellect they’re not respected

for their opinions so all they think is

that we’re going to be respected if men

see more of our you know our shame so

they dress in indecent fashion because

when men look at them they feel kind of

you know self-respect like I’m worth

something people are looking at me

that’s basically what it is it’s really

horrible and sad but then they go to the

office and the Secretary’s smiling at

you saying how are you how was your day

you know what are you getting for lunch

or you’re fasting all that size and then

you go you know on every ad women are

smiling at you and then you get home and

you open the door and I said where were

you I looked at the train the train was

late Oh every day the train is late oh I

understand you know and there’s a frown

every day and the first day it’s okay

the second is okay ten years of this 12

years of this what’s gonna happen the

husband has resentment towards the wife

even if he doesn’t say anything he’s

building resentment inside and the

simple simple solution of the messenger

sallallaahu said have a smile of the

wife when the husband comes home you

know how big a deal this is this is not

a small thing it stabs the husband when

the husband comes home and the wife

doesn’t care and you know he’s very

disturbed by that he may not say

something but it really really hurts

husbands and it hurts the relationship

and it comes out in weird ways now that

they’re hurt they’re kind of upset as

they’re having dinner oh there’s not

enough salt in here and they’re extra

angry at the kids are frustrated but the

same scenario the wife opens the door

and she greets the husband with a smile

just a smile it’s not expensive but what

happens the rest of the night goes

smoothly that was in a good mood he’s

talking to her when he’s talking to

I don’t want to talk right now I have a

headache it’s not gonna happen all

started from where just one little act

of the way these are simple solutions

but they’re powerful solutions and you

don’t take care of these solutions and

things this baggage just keeps adding up

and adding up and adding up and that’s

where you get those statistics because

the husband doesn’t want to look at the

wife she’s just annoying you know she’s

just as this or that right so both sides

have to understand they have to take

care of the other side instead of

expecting from the other side just make

a goal for yourself to take care of the

other side

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