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Published on February 4th, 2019 | by Eaalim Institute | Views: 239

End the Blame Game | Subtitled


Are you a good husband? How can you be one ?”Log on to “Free Quran Education “on Youtube .


Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh everyone!

welcome to “Amazed by the Quran”

a series in which I like sharing with you things I find amazing about the Quran

today, a phrase that the brothers of Yusuf ؑ mentioned:
وَتَكُونُوا مِن بَعْدِهِ قَوْمًا صَالِحِينَ
(Quran 12:9)

after you throw him into a well, or kill him even

after that, you’ll have the exclusive attention of your father

and then – you know – some time passes, and you will be good people

وَتَكُونُوا مِن بَعْدِهِ قَوْمًا صَالِحِينَ

these people have in their mind that they are bad

they’re not saying they’re good people

because they’re saying we’re going to become good afterwards

“so yes, I have a problem”

“but the reason for my problem is that one over there”

“and once he’s out of the picture”

“then I can actually be a good person again”

there are people in this world

who deny that they’re bad at all

like Shaitan has beautified their deeds to them and they think that they’re doing great

you know
يَحْسَبُونَ أَنَّهُمْ يُحْسِنُونَ صُنْعًا
(Quran 18:104)

they assume that they have done great work

but then there are people who actually know that they’re wrong – they know they’re messed up

but they won’t acknowledge that it’s themselves that has to change

they’ll blame some outside factor or usually some other person

and say “so long as that person’s in my life” or
“so long as that person is doing this this and this”

“I have to continue to be – you know – a terrible human being”

“and once I can get rid of them or cause them harm or do” you know –

in this case even kill them or remove them entirely

“until I do that, I have no way of becoming a good person”

in other words, your goodness is now entirely dependent on another

this is the biggest lie a person can tell themselves

that you hide your problems – your own flaws in character

and you mask them as somebody else’s – you know – somebody else is the reason

nobody else is the REASON for the way you are
YOU are!

you have the ability to change and you can’t blame anybody else

otherwise, there’s no difference between you and Yusuf’sؑ brothers

you hope to become a better person, but – you know – how can you ?

you’re still with this this person over here

or they’re still – you know

“it’s because of my dad”

“it’s because of my mom”

“it’s because of my brother”

“it’s because of my wife”

“it’s because of my husband”

none of that should matter

none of that should matter

some the greatest prophets were married to some of the most terrible women in the world

and there were the greatest people

some of the greatest prophets had horrible children

some prophets had terrible parents

they didn’t say “well, I had a tough upbringing”

Ibrahim ؑ is not gonna say “I had a tough upbringing, when you want me to do?”

he’s not going to do that


we cannot hide behind other people for our own flaws in character

yes, they impact us

yes, they emotionally scar us

but you know what? this is a disease

and we have to learn to stand for ourselves

this is something Allah teaches us in his Book

بَلِ الْأِنْسَانُ عَلَى نَفْسِهِ بَصِيرَةٌ وَلَوْ أَلْقَى مَعَاذِيرَهُ
(Quran 75: 14-15)

this is what I want to leave you with

“a human being is actually in best view of his own self”

suggests even عَلَى نَفْسِهِ

only on himself -meaning you cannot see anything more clearly than you can see yourself

“even if you come up with excuses”

but deep down inside you know and I know

may Allah make us of people who don’t hide behind excuses

and don’t put our problems and our flaws as the responsibility of other people burdening them with it

may Allah Azzawajal help us fix ourselves to the best of our ability
and better our relationships with people all around us

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