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Published on January 19th, 2019 | by Eaalim Institute | Views: 153

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the lhasa salallahu alayhi wasalam

actually had a specified time where he

would teach women where he would do that

especially the women of medina and

actually the women of medina were

different from the women of Makkah they

were actually a lot more bold and the

Sahaba even noticed their morbol like

Ramona the Eliza they’re not like the

women of Makkah so there was a

difference between them and their

outspoken and we even know that from

like you know many Arthur and many

hadith texts like you know how mothers

giving a football of the Allahu and when

a woman gets up and says you can’t say

that Allah said this like lady why are

you not in the sister section behind a

glass

why are you oh and you’re talking about

all about you don’t want to like point a

finger at Omar like that but she did

this is like gutsy lady you know he did

that and you know there are sometimes

there are assumptions that men and women

should not interact with each other at

all under any circumstance that’s what

Islam wants that isn’t true as a matter

of fact non-mac had a man and woman

talking to each other in public outside

is mentioned in the Quran musa alayhis

salam went up to two girls that were not

his madam then he went over and talked

to them is about what’s wrong with you

ladies Mahatma come on what’s wrong with

you and they said well we can’t feed our

animals until the whole flock is done

they had a conversation he didn’t go up

to them it says Salam or aleikum

what about to lie about a cat oh yeah oh

yeah

my two sisters in Islam he doesn’t know

even if they’re no Muslims they don’t

know they don’t know him he doesn’t know

them they don’t know he’s musa alayhis

salaam they don’t know that they don’t

know any of that but they had a

conversation with each other and now I’m

talking to another non-muslim about what

a problem there they were wrestling with

sheep so you have to go talk to them

what are you doing what’s going on can I

help with something but he didn’t talk

prolong the conversation he kept it to

the point what are we learning in Quran

if you keep your conversation to the

point it’s fine

you will let you might have a female

co-worker you might have a class I have

students I have to answer their

questions they have a right to me as

much as the brothers ever

to me cuz I’m teaching your class it’s a

matter of justice I can’t put them in

the back and not give them the same kind

of attention that fair and I brought

this up if is it fair or not this is no

it’s acceptable

there are llama that are more

conservative on this and there are Lamar

Lamar that allow it to but there are

plenty of mainstream medicine now across

the schools of thought scholars that

allow this then allow for example this

kind of setting if it’s meant with

certain kind of restrictions you know

there shouldn’t be small talk it mean if

I crack a joke it’s to the entire

audience not the sisters by themselves

is it because that’s inappropriate

that’s not right right and you’re

supposed to have a you know a certain

line there’s supposed to be a certain

line of discomfort between you and

myself or between you and any other non

maximum there’s supposed to be a line of

discomfort there’s supposed to be a

level of seriousness you’re not supposed

to be giggly when you come up

individually in and talk to a nominal

matter man you’re not supposed to be

like no I have a question brother you

said this why

learn to be like that learn to be like

well then learn not to be giggly around

non Mahara men if not smiley does a

kalau hidden for so many things you’re

doing no say that on your own don’t come

up and say to me don’t come up and say

to me say that to your dad there’s like

a long hidin Baba you’re so awesome

great when you come up to a non become

if it’s your teacher if it’s the imam of

the masjid if it’s your employer keep a

serious tone keep a serious tone you

know when a woman uses a serious tone

the man becomes serious automatically

girl comes up to you you think she’s

kind of pretty she comes up Jesus a

Michael you’re not gonna get you play

around now it’s done it’s over but she

can look Jesus now I think I have to lay

I got no good no good for you

then you be like oh why Dickens enough

well you know that’s bad for you so you

you know you have to keep it as a stern

voice and these rules I’m kind of

Ludington that’s Luton already covers

them these rules are already there you

have to keep a stern voice you have to

keep your eyes low as well it doesn’t

mean you don’t look away like brother I

have a question like you do that hi

there but you don’t stare at the person

you know yes sister do ask in the phone

not like that not like that yeah what

you mean I’m sorry you mean I will do

not mean I’m sorry and that’s normal

it’s not like over the top of the idea

is to keep yourself low don’t don’t

stare you know make just enough eye

contact to get your point across and

that’s it that’s that’s all you don’t

need more than that

you know so this these these certain

things they are the guidelines by which

public settings make it make it make it

okay

my teacher told me a story one time of a

man who was walking with his son in the

park and they’re walking together and

his son looked at a crow in a tree and

he said Baba what’s that it’s like two

year old kid baba said it’s a crow and

he said uh-huh

what’s that it’s a crow okay Baba what’s

that

it’s the grow o grow what’s that it’s a

girl it went on for ten minutes he has

some 30 times he counted that kept a

score and he put it in his little

Journal my sign today we were walking in

the park asked me about a crow 30 times

it was the cutest thing in the world

thirty years go by the Sun is not too

the Sun is thirty two Sun fall father

calls him son can I come over

dad it’s not a good time right now so

I’m just just bear with me I just need

that 10 to 15 minutes that’s all I need

just go for a drive I need to talk to

you about something whatever you know

what okay fine so he comes over gets in

the car

they go over drive over to a park what’s

this about dad can you tell me quickly I

got things to do just take a walk with

me son it’s okay I’ll take a walk see

your crow in a tree the dad says son

what’s that seriously father it’s a crow

Oh

son what’s that is this a game

I have things to do okay it’s a crow

it’s like you can’t see I just got you

new glasses last one how is this why is

this happening to me dad why are you so

difficult I don’t understand what the

problem is just tell me what you really

want I’m busy okay the dad pulls out his

journal it’s the son this is something

that happened 30 years ago we were

walking down this part you saw a crow

and you asked me 30 times and I give you

a smile every time you couldn’t handle

twice what are we giving our pants

I’m not even bringing a line to the

picture the fact that Allah mentioned

himself and then mentioned his parents

is you think about that what have they

done for us and what have we done for

them what have we done for them how many

parents they like their children are in

ICUs and they stand there and so

hovering over this little glass box with

a baby inside 24 hours a day 7 days a

week standing in a hospital not even

sitting down standing in a hospital like

eating off feeding off of like vending

machines and that same kid grows up and

doesn’t have the time to call that same

kid you know how many mothers almost

died giving birth almost died giving

birth and now it’s so difficult to

respond to her call or just give her

just a couple of minutes a day this is

let her feel a little important now how

unfair that is that the you were the

most important thing to them and your

they are so insignificant to you how

unfair that is you know they carry that

pain with them every day that I am

nothing to my check my children I mean

nothing’s that worthless to them

you know they have no time for me when

something is worth something to you it

gets your time most of you at this age

you want to just get away from your

parents there’s a lot of reason with

your friends you want to be on your own

you just don’t want to be with your

parents you know that’s you you develop

this crooked habit now and it will only

get worse over time our parents have

very very very strong emotions they’re

very protective of us for them you won’t

know this until you become a parent for

them it doesn’t matter when you turn 60

you’re still their baby they still they

still remember changing your diaper they

still remember feeding you milk this

still remember burping you and cleaning

up after you you know peed in the

backseat they still remember that you

don’t remember that they remember that

my son won’t remember that was a cup I

gotta go I gotta go I gotta go then all

of a sudden he stops complaining about

all

time to roll down the window you know

they start side by what toy are we gonna

get for either like oh okay

this has not been a good day for the car

but what he’s graduating college and

when the one day is getting married and

one day he has his own he’s not gonna

remember that

but guess we’ll never forget I’ll never

forget I’ll never forget carrying him

into a bathroom cleaning him up changing

his clothes I’m blond

but the spider-man pajamas on he won’t

remember he won’t remember any of that

I will I will and that same kid he’s

talking back to me one day when he’s

telling me dad I just don’t understand

you okay I don’t have time right now

when he does it’s gonna hurt man that’s

gonna hurt that’s what you do the other

parents also what I do to my parents

they were our life they were they give

up their life for us our parents gave up

careers for us our parents gave up

vacations for us our parents gave up

friends for us you know that I know that

now I didn’t know that then you they had

an entire life planned until you came

along

and then you became their plan you

became everything and you have the nerve

one thing doesn’t go your way you know

one thing you don’t want to hear you

snap back at them

it’s just we’re not even talking about

Islam right now we’re just talking about

decency man just decency what what have

they done for you and what you give them

back is so unfair it is so unfair my

dad’s so annoying my mom saw this there

so it’s always mad they’re never happy

there’s this there’s that what are you

what about you I’m telling you I can’t

say this enough times if you don’t earn

your parents does nothing good will come

of your life nothing good will come of

your life if they’re not happy

if you haven’t done everything you can

to make them happy

so let’s now talk in this few minutes we

have together about how to at least

practically build that solution I like

to talk you know when we talk about

reminders we talk about grand things

when we talk about advice I believe in

talking about advice from a very

practical even minimalist point of view

things that you can practically do and

that’s why I don’t like to share much

personally even though I read them for

myself for inspiration I don’t like to

share stories of the tabulator whenever

I’m the Sahaba the companions of the

prophet or the aloha ajma’in who prayed

the entire night or reciting the whole

Quran in a week or made Dorai and then

it started right out of those stories I

don’t share them you know why because

you know what happens so most of you

when you hear that man they were so

awesome I’m so bad Salaam alaikum

that’s the end of that man Sabah were

really cool I’m so going to hell that’s

it that’s that let’s start little by

little I wanna lay the Kitab from my in

Hemet the arabs have a saying it says if

you it’s in many other cultures to the

first of the heavy rain is just a drop

there that pours right let it build

little by little the first thing you

gotta do is you have to discipline your

life people I have to do it you have to

do it you know what it means to

discipline your life go to sleep early

pray assha and go to sleep don’t go to

the hole cut joint until 12:30 a.m.

don’t go see a movie

don’t go hang out with your friends

don’t watch Islamic lectures until 2:00

in the morning do not it is not

beneficial for you pray Asia and go to

sleep and wake up early wake up before

fudger

give yourself 30 minutes 15 minutes 20 I

know it seems impossible it’s only

impossible because of Netflix at night

okay

that’s the only reason it’s impossible

give the night life up let the night be

for sleep at least you’re not

accumulating sin every night at least

you’re not burying your heart under more

sin every night at least you’re sleeping

at least you’re innocent for that much

and leaves that much then you wake up

and you pray at least start with a

routine of praying fudge you’re on time

start with fudge on and the guys here at

least at least once a week guys make it

to the Masjid for fudger

at least why I don’t ask you every day

just one day a week give yourselves one

day a week and you don’t catch the

second in a cow right before the Salam

right and then after you finish making

it up you’re like all mushed it today

that’s right

you’re like pointing at the right hand

you wrote that down you got that you got

that yeah get to the mush said early let

me tell you something about fudger in

the masjid it has a spiritual impact

that only people who go to it will

experience it can’t be explained in a

lecture when you go to it when you go to

the prayer and you sit there into my

quietly and you wait for the prayer

to start and you sit there and you

recite Quran and you ask a lot of

forgive you in those morning hours and

then you stand next to other believers

and countless armies of angels and you

stand and you pray in front of Allah and

that early morning giving up your sleep

which only happened because you gave up

your night life when you do that even

once a week the joy you will get out of

it you will as you are walking out of

the machine you will wish to yourself

you did that every morning I swear to it

I guarantee you you’re gonna walk out of

that machine saying man I wish I could

do this every morning

you really will let’s start with once a

week start with once a week

this idea of a head one there’s one of

the great writers on Islamic theology in

Pakistan actually Raphael Dean dr.

Raphael Dean commenting on the Sola said

something amazing and I really

appreciated it because I think for

modern audiences this kind of stuff

needs to be said and heard Allah created

the human being with the knowledge of

himself the human being knew already

there is this highest ideal Allah Azza

WA JAL and not just that there is a God

and he created us and now we can do

whatever we want no he’s the rub he’s

the master he’s the my goal in life is

to do what he wants this is my highest

ideal my greatest accomplishment ever

can be that I become his slave that

would be the greatest honor I can have

the messenger of allah salallahu alaihe

salam his greatest honor so Hamlet es la

be a Buddha he he becomes a habit of

Allah the save of Allah is a great honor

that’s the goal in life and a lot of

pre-programmed that goal inside every

single human being but if you lose sight

of that goal it is like this you know

you have this thirst this hunger inside

you to fulfill that goal Allah created

you with that but when your appetite is

not filled with healthy food what do you

fill it with if you don’t get the right

meal are you gonna say I’m not gonna eat

at all no when a person is starving and

there’s no food of their preference or

there’s no healthy food

there’s even filth barks of trees will

the human being still start chewing on

that when he’s when it comes to that

they will when you lose sight of Allah

as Oh again and that no longer is your

goal then necessarily you will find a

replacement necessarily it is necessary

to have something you aspire towards

that is the mission of your life the one

who has found Allah what becomes what

happens to them in NASA Lahti well new

tsuki

huama hyah huama mati lillahi rabbil

alameen it’s very simple for them the

one who has really found Allah there’s a

lives for Allah their sacrifices for

Allah their life and their death is now

for Allah the way they live the way they

eat the way they sleep what they want to

do what their

their long-term goals their short-term

goals what are they gonna do with their

kids why are they getting an education

where they’re gonna work everything is

now for Allah that is their goal but for

the one who doesn’t have that goal they

have to find another goal and in old

times they used to be idols they used to

be other religions you find some other

God but in our times that’s become far

more pathetic far more pathetic now you

have someone who’s obsessed with their

body and they’re working out 18 hours a

day and their only goal in life their

only goal in life is to just keep

getting buffer and buffer it’s the only

goal take star and look sharp and stay

on top keep in shape or there’s this

goal they set with their trainer I got

to do this many reps or I got to do this

many push-ups or I gotta get benchpress

this many pounds etc that’s their goal

that has become the illah for a person

that their life has become about money

they have you met people they cannot

talk about anything except their work

they can’t yeah I work at this company I

do this this business and the moment

they lose their job they become suicidal

because that’s all they ever thought

about that’s all they ever did with

their life that’s all they ever did that

becomes their goal for some people it’s

their children they live for their

children they do everything for their

children day and night they think about

their children there is no other thought

running in their mind there is no other

goal before them than their children

that is all they run after when you

don’t find him you will find something

else you will find something else and

you will run after it and you will give

your life to it and this is a there is

no exception among human beings and

today it could be even a slacker you

grab and you could ask me what about a

slacker in all those kids that play 20

hours of video games a day and don’t get

off the couch well what is their goal it

is to entertain themselves it is to fry

their brain cells behind the screen that

is their ultimate goal that is what they

want to reach and there they’re working

hard to attain it every day right that’s

what it becomes these are the

psychological implications of

understanding to hate it is easy to say

Allah is one but is he one in my life it

is easy easy the one for me or do I have

some other one that I’m running out

or some other thing that I put before

myself Allah asked this question

rhetorically he says mouth because

Kadeem what deluded you from your

gracious master what was so important to

you that you ran after that you couldn’t

come after this ha

so how Allah so when he uses this word

who Allahu Ahad it’s psychological

implications its implications on our

attitude towards Allah and how we think

about our life completely changes now

there is nothing more important to me

than making him happy nothing more

important to me than him being pleased

with me nothing more important to me

than he forgiving me nothing more

important that me that he would talk to

me on the day of judgment telling me

that I’m successful he would look

towards me I will not be from the ones

he turns away from when I you can Li mo

home alarm and teamö Allah will not talk

to them on the day of judgement may

Allah not make us from those people

these are some of the psychological

implications of just internalizing ahead

I had just that word what Allah is

saying somehow this is who Allah is this

is what he’s supposed to do and I want

to conclude because it’s like time for

Salah with the following this is the I

can’t quote it model because I’m

terrible at or do but I’ll tell you the

meaning of the verse ok although I like

the verse myself so it’s poetry but he

says what used to be he’s talking about

it’s a poet Oh he’d it’s a poem about

though he’d and he says what used to be

something that burned in the hearts of

men when burned in the hearts of men is

now a subject of abstract philosophical

debate that’s what he says now what is

though hate to us today debates

discussions abstract discussions in you

know in theology that have no end to

them no end to them but what it used to

be was something that burned inside the

hearts am i fulfilling the rights of a

head yet am i doing justice to that I

had yet may Allah make us of the people

of tawheed may Allah give us in our

hearts what bird the likes of which

burned in the heart of ibraheem

alehissalaam

and the Messenger of Allah and the

Sahaba of the allahu anhu much marine

will continue the story of Yusuf idea

Saddam can be broken up into twelve

parts

if you know the story you can easily as

it is in surah-e-yusuf

you can break it up into twelve parts

I’ll tell you I am Telling You this when

I was in college before I was even

interested in Islam I took a course

called world literature and in that

course we studied some parts of Plato’s

Republic Aristotle we even studied

actually the Communist Manifesto we read

something from the Confucius we read

some things from the Bible we had

something from the Quran and at the time

I didn’t know any Arabic when we took

this course one of our homework

assignments was to compare the story of

Joseph in the Bible to the story of use

of race that I’m in the Quran there was

a homework assignment and the only thing

I had was the translation I’ll tell you

what happened at the end of that

homework assignment later but let’s go

back to this

how many parts did I say the story has

what Sudan number is it anyone know 12

solar number 12 has two parts

interestingly anyway here’s the first

part use of under his Salam sees a dream

the second part his brothers make a plan

against him the third part and by the

way the plan succeeds and he’s taken

away from his family you know what

happens the third major part the wife of

the minister tries to seduce Yusuf

alayhi Salaam the test that he was put

through so the first part was the dream

the second was the brothers the third

was the wife of the minister the fourth

one was when she called the ladies she

called all of the ladies and they also

fell in and they you know did what they

did with the knife they weren’t very

good with knives and then the fifth part

Yusuf Ali he said I’m ended up in jail

you guys know that part right he was

falsely accused and he went in jail the

sixth part is when the King had a dream

and he couldn’t figure out what the

dream means what kind of animal did he

see in the dream call it out loud hmm

a cow there you go this that’s a very

loud cow over there okay now the seventh

part is that the dream that he had gets

interpreted by Yusuf alehissalaam so he

doesn’t know what to do with the dream

they sent for you so far they Saddam he

interprets the dream the eighth part is

Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released from

prison he gets out of prison the ninth

part is the women remember those ladies

the knives they confess they admit that

they did something wrong the tenth part

the wife of the minister also confesses

the eleventh part the brothers learned

their lesson you know the brothers who

put him in the well in the beginning now

we’re in part 11 and they learned their

lesson final part part 12 the dream of

use of alehissalaam gets interpreted

finally he knows what that that we love

the was the interpretation of the dream

was okay how many parts did I say again

well now listen carefully

part one he sees a dream part 12 the

dream gets interpreted part 2 the

brothers make a scheme against him part

11 backwards the brothers learned their

lesson and they asked for forgiveness

part 3 the life of the minister tries to

scheme against Yusuf part 10 going

backwards

the wife confesses that she was wrong

part 4 the ladies tried to seduce or say

something about Yusuf money Saddam heart

nothing the lady’s confess part 5 Yusuf

Hani Salaam goes to jail going backwards

part 8 Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released

from prison part 6 the King sees a dream

part 7 the King’s dream is interpreted

this is not a book it was a speech there

was no editing there was no here are the

12 parts let’s put part 1 and part 12 r2

and part 11 part 3 in part 10 it wasn’t

like that it was given as a surah that

also say some recited it and just in

that recitation it has this perfect

symmetry so Hanna mamma jamma Hassan

Kadam

now maybe you were such a person maybe

you were a person that wasn’t very

religious at all and you were living

life like the rest of your extended

family but something came in your heart

and you said you know what I’m gonna

take this guidance seriously I don’t

know how it happened maybe Allah made it

happen through some YouTube video huh

it happened through some hot boy you

heard or a friend or however it happened

but you decided to make a change for the

better in your life and when you start

changing the behavior in your life the

first people to see a change in you will

be your own family they will notice it

they will notice that you’re not the

same anymore you don’t talk the same you

don’t act the same you don’t go to the

same places you don’t even have the same

friends anymore and this necessarily

happens when you take a turn towards

Islam necessarily you start losing

friends because you’re old friends used

to do pretty bad things and now you

can’t do those things with them anymore

so you suffer a loss of friends and at

the same time your family starts saying

you’re acting a little too weird and for

the young man the family might even say

what’s that thing on your face you

forgot to shave what happened to you and

the girl starts wearing the job and the

family might even be in shock and this

is a Muslim family mind you they’ll say

take that thing off your head

you’re gonna go out to the wedding

looking like that I can’t sit in the car

with you like that what do you think we

are who do you all of a sudden you’re

the Islamic role model who died and made

you share that all of a sudden we should

be looking up to you remember what you

were like last year man you were the

party animal now you’re going to go make

Celaya seriously please we know what

you’re really like in other words this

now Dom not only have you lost your

friends from your family you get the

nastiest kinds of sarcasm and criticism

all the time all the time every chance

they get they say something to you they

say something about your beard they say

something about your habits of making

Salah this is something about you going

to the Ignite convention this is

something about putting your children in

Islamic school this is something about

sending your children to Sunday School

are you getting up for fudger or a Shia

and going to the Masjid they’ll have

some comments for you and those comments

hurt they burn pretty

good this happens to young men in the

audience where their parents start

telling them to stop hanging out with

their other Muslim friends don’t go to

the Masjid don’t waste your time I will

lie him myself know of stories where the

father found out that in between classes

the son used it because his classes were

3-4 hours apart in between classes he

used to go to the Masjid to pray though

and just study at the Masjid instead of

studying at the library where there’s

plenty of things to look at might as

well go make Salah and pray in the

masjid i’ll be safer that way dad finds

out you’re becoming an extremist son and

what is the extremism in the eye of the

father that the boy is making Salah in

the machine that’s extremism for him

subhanAllah with Muslims themselves

you think non-muslims are averse to

Islam have you seen what Muslim families

are doing to their own what parents are

doing to their children I know of cases

myself where parents said we will not

pay your college tuition we will not

look for a wedding made for you until

you take that job off we will not do it

you do not accept you as our daughter

until you take that thing off we will

not show our face in public with you you

can’t go with us anywhere this is the

mother Talent and you know what they’ll

say what’s amazing about that they’ll

make you feel bad about yourself they’ll

tell you what kind of daughter are you

you should be ashamed to yourself you’re

embarrassing your parents we’re Muslim

but we’re not Muslim Muslim

we’re not that we’re not those kind of

Muslims that’s not how we do things in

our family that’s what they’ll say our

family is different we don’t do things

like that in our family that’s those

moistured people don’t be like those

mustard people that’s what they’ll say

and you know what’s amazing about that

if you look at a portrait of your

great-grandparents from back in the day

good old great grandpa’s got a big old

beard and you can’t even see grandma’s

face so who’s being true to the family

and who’s an embarrassment to the family

see this is Muslim families today and

you’re in the midst of all of this and

you know what happens because you’ve

made a decision to turn towards Islam if

an enemy of Islam came to you and said

abandon your

religion you’d say oh yeah I’m gonna be

even more committed you would become

energized in your zeal for the religion

when the enemy attacks Islam we’d get

even more fired up Muslims get fired up

in the craziest of ways if somebody

draws a cartoon about the messenger

sallallaahu said I’m and Muslims go

crazy and they’ll burn some other guy’s

car up or break somebody else because

they’re really angry but we get fired up

when when something happens some

something questions the dignity of our

religion even if it makes sense or

doesn’t make sense but when your own

family comes and says look I love you

I’m worried about you I don’t want you

to become this way this is the way of

the people who fail out of college you

don’t have a career who have miserable

lives I don’t want you to fall into this

extreme somebody is somebody’s putting

you under their influence you need to

get away from them they’re the ones

pulling you away so how do you deal with

that the most inappropriate response to

this pressure is anger and you know what

that is the most common response to your

parents start yelling at you for growing

the beard and you’re a young hot-blooded

guy what do you do oh yeah it’s the son

knob you can’t tell me what to do you’re

following culture and I’m trying to

follow Islam and you slam the door in

their face way to go because that’s what

Allah wants you to do yell back at your

parents and their just take till they’re

talking about your beard what was if

Raheem’s father talking about

alehissalaam was he talking about

something small or something big

go make such that the idols boy and the

sea-doos is cool does he get angry we

have to learn how to be with our parents

as even when they call you away from

Dean it doesn’t matter if they’re Muslim

or not well in Jogja Dhaka Allah –

Shaniqua B Malaysia that can be here and

felt Otero ma voix Sahib Roja Moffet

duniya alpha allah azza wajal tells us

if they struggle against you to make you

follow what they themselves have no

knowledge of don’t obey them while at

the same time accompanying them in the

most dignified fashion obeying them is

separate respecting them is separate

if you’ve benefited from this video and

you’d like to see more Muslims improve

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848
00:33:08,060 –> 00:00:00,000
Jerzy como la jolla

the lhasa salallahu alayhi wasalam

actually had a specified time where he

would teach women where he would do that

especially the women of medina and

actually the women of medina were

different from the women of Makkah they

were actually a lot more bold and the

Sahaba even noticed their morbol like

Ramona the Eliza they’re not like the

women of Makkah so there was a

difference between them and their

outspoken and we even know that from

like you know many Arthur and many

hadith texts like you know how mothers

giving a football of the Allahu and when

a woman gets up and says you can’t say

that Allah said this like lady why are

you not in the sister section behind a

glass

why are you oh and you’re talking about

all about you don’t want to like point a

finger at Omar like that but she did

this is like gutsy lady you know he did

that and you know there are sometimes

there are assumptions that men and women

should not interact with each other at

all under any circumstance that’s what

Islam wants that isn’t true as a matter

of fact non-mac had a man and woman

talking to each other in public outside

is mentioned in the Quran musa alayhis

salam went up to two girls that were not

his madam then he went over and talked

to them is about what’s wrong with you

ladies Mahatma come on what’s wrong with

you and they said well we can’t feed our

animals until the whole flock is done

they had a conversation he didn’t go up

to them it says Salam or aleikum

what about to lie about a cat oh yeah oh

yeah

my two sisters in Islam he doesn’t know

even if they’re no Muslims they don’t

know they don’t know him he doesn’t know

them they don’t know he’s musa alayhis

salaam they don’t know that they don’t

know any of that but they had a

conversation with each other and now I’m

talking to another non-muslim about what

a problem there they were wrestling with

sheep so you have to go talk to them

what are you doing what’s going on can I

help with something but he didn’t talk

prolong the conversation he kept it to

the point what are we learning in Quran

if you keep your conversation to the

point it’s fine

you will let you might have a female

co-worker you might have a class I have

students I have to answer their

questions they have a right to me as

much as the brothers ever

to me cuz I’m teaching your class it’s a

matter of justice I can’t put them in

the back and not give them the same kind

of attention that fair and I brought

this up if is it fair or not this is no

it’s acceptable

there are llama that are more

conservative on this and there are Lamar

Lamar that allow it to but there are

plenty of mainstream medicine now across

the schools of thought scholars that

allow this then allow for example this

kind of setting if it’s meant with

certain kind of restrictions you know

there shouldn’t be small talk it mean if

I crack a joke it’s to the entire

audience not the sisters by themselves

is it because that’s inappropriate

that’s not right right and you’re

supposed to have a you know a certain

line there’s supposed to be a certain

line of discomfort between you and

myself or between you and any other non

maximum there’s supposed to be a line of

discomfort there’s supposed to be a

level of seriousness you’re not supposed

to be giggly when you come up

individually in and talk to a nominal

matter man you’re not supposed to be

like no I have a question brother you

said this why

learn to be like that learn to be like

well then learn not to be giggly around

non Mahara men if not smiley does a

kalau hidden for so many things you’re

doing no say that on your own don’t come

up and say to me don’t come up and say

to me say that to your dad there’s like

a long hidin Baba you’re so awesome

great when you come up to a non become

if it’s your teacher if it’s the imam of

the masjid if it’s your employer keep a

serious tone keep a serious tone you

know when a woman uses a serious tone

the man becomes serious automatically

girl comes up to you you think she’s

kind of pretty she comes up Jesus a

Michael you’re not gonna get you play

around now it’s done it’s over but she

can look Jesus now I think I have to lay

I got no good no good for you

then you be like oh why Dickens enough

well you know that’s bad for you so you

you know you have to keep it as a stern

voice and these rules I’m kind of

Ludington that’s Luton already covers

them these rules are already there you

have to keep a stern voice you have to

keep your eyes low as well it doesn’t

mean you don’t look away like brother I

have a question like you do that hi

there but you don’t stare at the person

you know yes sister do ask in the phone

not like that not like that yeah what

you mean I’m sorry you mean I will do

not mean I’m sorry and that’s normal

it’s not like over the top of the idea

is to keep yourself low don’t don’t

stare you know make just enough eye

contact to get your point across and

that’s it that’s that’s all you don’t

need more than that

you know so this these these certain

things they are the guidelines by which

public settings make it make it make it

okay

my teacher told me a story one time of a

man who was walking with his son in the

park and they’re walking together and

his son looked at a crow in a tree and

he said Baba what’s that it’s like two

year old kid baba said it’s a crow and

he said uh-huh

what’s that it’s a crow okay Baba what’s

that

it’s the grow o grow what’s that it’s a

girl it went on for ten minutes he has

some 30 times he counted that kept a

score and he put it in his little

Journal my sign today we were walking in

the park asked me about a crow 30 times

it was the cutest thing in the world

thirty years go by the Sun is not too

the Sun is thirty two Sun fall father

calls him son can I come over

dad it’s not a good time right now so

I’m just just bear with me I just need

that 10 to 15 minutes that’s all I need

just go for a drive I need to talk to

you about something whatever you know

what okay fine so he comes over gets in

the car

they go over drive over to a park what’s

this about dad can you tell me quickly I

got things to do just take a walk with

me son it’s okay I’ll take a walk see

your crow in a tree the dad says son

what’s that seriously father it’s a crow

Oh

son what’s that is this a game

I have things to do okay it’s a crow

it’s like you can’t see I just got you

new glasses last one how is this why is

this happening to me dad why are you so

difficult I don’t understand what the

problem is just tell me what you really

want I’m busy okay the dad pulls out his

journal it’s the son this is something

that happened 30 years ago we were

walking down this part you saw a crow

and you asked me 30 times and I give you

a smile every time you couldn’t handle

twice what are we giving our pants

I’m not even bringing a line to the

picture the fact that Allah mentioned

himself and then mentioned his parents

is you think about that what have they

done for us and what have we done for

them what have we done for them how many

parents they like their children are in

ICUs and they stand there and so

hovering over this little glass box with

a baby inside 24 hours a day 7 days a

week standing in a hospital not even

sitting down standing in a hospital like

eating off feeding off of like vending

machines and that same kid grows up and

doesn’t have the time to call that same

kid you know how many mothers almost

died giving birth almost died giving

birth and now it’s so difficult to

respond to her call or just give her

just a couple of minutes a day this is

let her feel a little important now how

unfair that is that the you were the

most important thing to them and your

they are so insignificant to you how

unfair that is you know they carry that

pain with them every day that I am

nothing to my check my children I mean

nothing’s that worthless to them

you know they have no time for me when

something is worth something to you it

gets your time most of you at this age

you want to just get away from your

parents there’s a lot of reason with

your friends you want to be on your own

you just don’t want to be with your

parents you know that’s you you develop

this crooked habit now and it will only

get worse over time our parents have

very very very strong emotions they’re

very protective of us for them you won’t

know this until you become a parent for

them it doesn’t matter when you turn 60

you’re still their baby they still they

still remember changing your diaper they

still remember feeding you milk this

still remember burping you and cleaning

up after you you know peed in the

backseat they still remember that you

don’t remember that they remember that

my son won’t remember that was a cup I

gotta go I gotta go I gotta go then all

of a sudden he stops complaining about

all

time to roll down the window you know

they start side by what toy are we gonna

get for either like oh okay

this has not been a good day for the car

but what he’s graduating college and

when the one day is getting married and

one day he has his own he’s not gonna

remember that

but guess we’ll never forget I’ll never

forget I’ll never forget carrying him

into a bathroom cleaning him up changing

his clothes I’m blond

but the spider-man pajamas on he won’t

remember he won’t remember any of that

I will I will and that same kid he’s

talking back to me one day when he’s

telling me dad I just don’t understand

you okay I don’t have time right now

when he does it’s gonna hurt man that’s

gonna hurt that’s what you do the other

parents also what I do to my parents

they were our life they were they give

up their life for us our parents gave up

careers for us our parents gave up

vacations for us our parents gave up

friends for us you know that I know that

now I didn’t know that then you they had

an entire life planned until you came

along

and then you became their plan you

became everything and you have the nerve

one thing doesn’t go your way you know

one thing you don’t want to hear you

snap back at them

it’s just we’re not even talking about

Islam right now we’re just talking about

decency man just decency what what have

they done for you and what you give them

back is so unfair it is so unfair my

dad’s so annoying my mom saw this there

so it’s always mad they’re never happy

there’s this there’s that what are you

what about you I’m telling you I can’t

say this enough times if you don’t earn

your parents does nothing good will come

of your life nothing good will come of

your life if they’re not happy

if you haven’t done everything you can

to make them happy

so let’s now talk in this few minutes we

have together about how to at least

practically build that solution I like

to talk you know when we talk about

reminders we talk about grand things

when we talk about advice I believe in

talking about advice from a very

practical even minimalist point of view

things that you can practically do and

that’s why I don’t like to share much

personally even though I read them for

myself for inspiration I don’t like to

share stories of the tabulator whenever

I’m the Sahaba the companions of the

prophet or the aloha ajma’in who prayed

the entire night or reciting the whole

Quran in a week or made Dorai and then

it started right out of those stories I

don’t share them you know why because

you know what happens so most of you

when you hear that man they were so

awesome I’m so bad Salaam alaikum

that’s the end of that man Sabah were

really cool I’m so going to hell that’s

it that’s that let’s start little by

little I wanna lay the Kitab from my in

Hemet the arabs have a saying it says if

you it’s in many other cultures to the

first of the heavy rain is just a drop

there that pours right let it build

little by little the first thing you

gotta do is you have to discipline your

life people I have to do it you have to

do it you know what it means to

discipline your life go to sleep early

pray assha and go to sleep don’t go to

the hole cut joint until 12:30 a.m.

don’t go see a movie

don’t go hang out with your friends

don’t watch Islamic lectures until 2:00

in the morning do not it is not

beneficial for you pray Asia and go to

sleep and wake up early wake up before

fudger

give yourself 30 minutes 15 minutes 20 I

know it seems impossible it’s only

impossible because of Netflix at night

okay

that’s the only reason it’s impossible

give the night life up let the night be

for sleep at least you’re not

accumulating sin every night at least

you’re not burying your heart under more

sin every night at least you’re sleeping

at least you’re innocent for that much

and leaves that much then you wake up

and you pray at least start with a

routine of praying fudge you’re on time

start with fudge on and the guys here at

least at least once a week guys make it

to the Masjid for fudger

at least why I don’t ask you every day

just one day a week give yourselves one

day a week and you don’t catch the

second in a cow right before the Salam

right and then after you finish making

it up you’re like all mushed it today

that’s right

you’re like pointing at the right hand

you wrote that down you got that you got

that yeah get to the mush said early let

me tell you something about fudger in

the masjid it has a spiritual impact

that only people who go to it will

experience it can’t be explained in a

lecture when you go to it when you go to

the prayer and you sit there into my

quietly and you wait for the prayer

to start and you sit there and you

recite Quran and you ask a lot of

forgive you in those morning hours and

then you stand next to other believers

and countless armies of angels and you

stand and you pray in front of Allah and

that early morning giving up your sleep

which only happened because you gave up

your night life when you do that even

once a week the joy you will get out of

it you will as you are walking out of

the machine you will wish to yourself

you did that every morning I swear to it

I guarantee you you’re gonna walk out of

that machine saying man I wish I could

do this every morning

you really will let’s start with once a

week start with once a week

this idea of a head one there’s one of

the great writers on Islamic theology in

Pakistan actually Raphael Dean dr.

Raphael Dean commenting on the Sola said

something amazing and I really

appreciated it because I think for

modern audiences this kind of stuff

needs to be said and heard Allah created

the human being with the knowledge of

himself the human being knew already

there is this highest ideal Allah Azza

WA JAL and not just that there is a God

and he created us and now we can do

whatever we want no he’s the rub he’s

the master he’s the my goal in life is

to do what he wants this is my highest

ideal my greatest accomplishment ever

can be that I become his slave that

would be the greatest honor I can have

the messenger of allah salallahu alaihe

salam his greatest honor so Hamlet es la

be a Buddha he he becomes a habit of

Allah the save of Allah is a great honor

that’s the goal in life and a lot of

pre-programmed that goal inside every

single human being but if you lose sight

of that goal it is like this you know

you have this thirst this hunger inside

you to fulfill that goal Allah created

you with that but when your appetite is

not filled with healthy food what do you

fill it with if you don’t get the right

meal are you gonna say I’m not gonna eat

at all no when a person is starving and

there’s no food of their preference or

there’s no healthy food

there’s even filth barks of trees will

the human being still start chewing on

that when he’s when it comes to that

they will when you lose sight of Allah

as Oh again and that no longer is your

goal then necessarily you will find a

replacement necessarily it is necessary

to have something you aspire towards

that is the mission of your life the one

who has found Allah what becomes what

happens to them in NASA Lahti well new

tsuki

huama hyah huama mati lillahi rabbil

alameen it’s very simple for them the

one who has really found Allah there’s a

lives for Allah their sacrifices for

Allah their life and their death is now

for Allah the way they live the way they

eat the way they sleep what they want to

do what their

their long-term goals their short-term

goals what are they gonna do with their

kids why are they getting an education

where they’re gonna work everything is

now for Allah that is their goal but for

the one who doesn’t have that goal they

have to find another goal and in old

times they used to be idols they used to

be other religions you find some other

God but in our times that’s become far

more pathetic far more pathetic now you

have someone who’s obsessed with their

body and they’re working out 18 hours a

day and their only goal in life their

only goal in life is to just keep

getting buffer and buffer it’s the only

goal take star and look sharp and stay

on top keep in shape or there’s this

goal they set with their trainer I got

to do this many reps or I got to do this

many push-ups or I gotta get benchpress

this many pounds etc that’s their goal

that has become the illah for a person

that their life has become about money

they have you met people they cannot

talk about anything except their work

they can’t yeah I work at this company I

do this this business and the moment

they lose their job they become suicidal

because that’s all they ever thought

about that’s all they ever did with

their life that’s all they ever did that

becomes their goal for some people it’s

their children they live for their

children they do everything for their

children day and night they think about

their children there is no other thought

running in their mind there is no other

goal before them than their children

that is all they run after when you

don’t find him you will find something

else you will find something else and

you will run after it and you will give

your life to it and this is a there is

no exception among human beings and

today it could be even a slacker you

grab and you could ask me what about a

slacker in all those kids that play 20

hours of video games a day and don’t get

off the couch well what is their goal it

is to entertain themselves it is to fry

their brain cells behind the screen that

is their ultimate goal that is what they

want to reach and there they’re working

hard to attain it every day right that’s

what it becomes these are the

psychological implications of

understanding to hate it is easy to say

Allah is one but is he one in my life it

is easy easy the one for me or do I have

some other one that I’m running out

or some other thing that I put before

myself Allah asked this question

rhetorically he says mouth because

Kadeem what deluded you from your

gracious master what was so important to

you that you ran after that you couldn’t

come after this ha

so how Allah so when he uses this word

who Allahu Ahad it’s psychological

implications its implications on our

attitude towards Allah and how we think

about our life completely changes now

there is nothing more important to me

than making him happy nothing more

important to me than him being pleased

with me nothing more important to me

than he forgiving me nothing more

important that me that he would talk to

me on the day of judgment telling me

that I’m successful he would look

towards me I will not be from the ones

he turns away from when I you can Li mo

home alarm and teamö Allah will not talk

to them on the day of judgement may

Allah not make us from those people

these are some of the psychological

implications of just internalizing ahead

I had just that word what Allah is

saying somehow this is who Allah is this

is what he’s supposed to do and I want

to conclude because it’s like time for

Salah with the following this is the I

can’t quote it model because I’m

terrible at or do but I’ll tell you the

meaning of the verse ok although I like

the verse myself so it’s poetry but he

says what used to be he’s talking about

it’s a poet Oh he’d it’s a poem about

though he’d and he says what used to be

something that burned in the hearts of

men when burned in the hearts of men is

now a subject of abstract philosophical

debate that’s what he says now what is

though hate to us today debates

discussions abstract discussions in you

know in theology that have no end to

them no end to them but what it used to

be was something that burned inside the

hearts am i fulfilling the rights of a

head yet am i doing justice to that I

had yet may Allah make us of the people

of tawheed may Allah give us in our

hearts what bird the likes of which

burned in the heart of ibraheem

alehissalaam

and the Messenger of Allah and the

Sahaba of the allahu anhu much marine

will continue the story of Yusuf idea

Saddam can be broken up into twelve

parts

if you know the story you can easily as

it is in surah-e-yusuf

you can break it up into twelve parts

I’ll tell you I am Telling You this when

I was in college before I was even

interested in Islam I took a course

called world literature and in that

course we studied some parts of Plato’s

Republic Aristotle we even studied

actually the Communist Manifesto we read

something from the Confucius we read

some things from the Bible we had

something from the Quran and at the time

I didn’t know any Arabic when we took

this course one of our homework

assignments was to compare the story of

Joseph in the Bible to the story of use

of race that I’m in the Quran there was

a homework assignment and the only thing

I had was the translation I’ll tell you

what happened at the end of that

homework assignment later but let’s go

back to this

how many parts did I say the story has

what Sudan number is it anyone know 12

solar number 12 has two parts

interestingly anyway here’s the first

part use of under his Salam sees a dream

the second part his brothers make a plan

against him the third part and by the

way the plan succeeds and he’s taken

away from his family you know what

happens the third major part the wife of

the minister tries to seduce Yusuf

alayhi Salaam the test that he was put

through so the first part was the dream

the second was the brothers the third

was the wife of the minister the fourth

one was when she called the ladies she

called all of the ladies and they also

fell in and they you know did what they

did with the knife they weren’t very

good with knives and then the fifth part

Yusuf Ali he said I’m ended up in jail

you guys know that part right he was

falsely accused and he went in jail the

sixth part is when the King had a dream

and he couldn’t figure out what the

dream means what kind of animal did he

see in the dream call it out loud hmm

a cow there you go this that’s a very

loud cow over there okay now the seventh

part is that the dream that he had gets

interpreted by Yusuf alehissalaam so he

doesn’t know what to do with the dream

they sent for you so far they Saddam he

interprets the dream the eighth part is

Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released from

prison he gets out of prison the ninth

part is the women remember those ladies

the knives they confess they admit that

they did something wrong the tenth part

the wife of the minister also confesses

the eleventh part the brothers learned

their lesson you know the brothers who

put him in the well in the beginning now

we’re in part 11 and they learned their

lesson final part part 12 the dream of

use of alehissalaam gets interpreted

finally he knows what that that we love

the was the interpretation of the dream

was okay how many parts did I say again

well now listen carefully

part one he sees a dream part 12 the

dream gets interpreted part 2 the

brothers make a scheme against him part

11 backwards the brothers learned their

lesson and they asked for forgiveness

part 3 the life of the minister tries to

scheme against Yusuf part 10 going

backwards

the wife confesses that she was wrong

part 4 the ladies tried to seduce or say

something about Yusuf money Saddam heart

nothing the lady’s confess part 5 Yusuf

Hani Salaam goes to jail going backwards

part 8 Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released

from prison part 6 the King sees a dream

part 7 the King’s dream is interpreted

this is not a book it was a speech there

was no editing there was no here are the

12 parts let’s put part 1 and part 12 r2

and part 11 part 3 in part 10 it wasn’t

like that it was given as a surah that

also say some recited it and just in

that recitation it has this perfect

symmetry so Hanna mamma jamma Hassan

Kadam

now maybe you were such a person maybe

you were a person that wasn’t very

religious at all and you were living

life like the rest of your extended

family but something came in your heart

and you said you know what I’m gonna

take this guidance seriously I don’t

know how it happened maybe Allah made it

happen through some YouTube video huh

it happened through some hot boy you

heard or a friend or however it happened

but you decided to make a change for the

better in your life and when you start

changing the behavior in your life the

first people to see a change in you will

be your own family they will notice it

they will notice that you’re not the

same anymore you don’t talk the same you

don’t act the same you don’t go to the

same places you don’t even have the same

friends anymore and this necessarily

happens when you take a turn towards

Islam necessarily you start losing

friends because you’re old friends used

to do pretty bad things and now you

can’t do those things with them anymore

so you suffer a loss of friends and at

the same time your family starts saying

you’re acting a little too weird and for

the young man the family might even say

what’s that thing on your face you

forgot to shave what happened to you and

the girl starts wearing the job and the

family might even be in shock and this

is a Muslim family mind you they’ll say

take that thing off your head

you’re gonna go out to the wedding

looking like that I can’t sit in the car

with you like that what do you think we

are who do you all of a sudden you’re

the Islamic role model who died and made

you share that all of a sudden we should

be looking up to you remember what you

were like last year man you were the

party animal now you’re going to go make

Celaya seriously please we know what

you’re really like in other words this

now Dom not only have you lost your

friends from your family you get the

nastiest kinds of sarcasm and criticism

all the time all the time every chance

they get they say something to you they

say something about your beard they say

something about your habits of making

Salah this is something about you going

to the Ignite convention this is

something about putting your children in

Islamic school this is something about

sending your children to Sunday School

are you getting up for fudger or a Shia

and going to the Masjid they’ll have

some comments for you and those comments

hurt they burn pretty

good this happens to young men in the

audience where their parents start

telling them to stop hanging out with

their other Muslim friends don’t go to

the Masjid don’t waste your time I will

lie him myself know of stories where the

father found out that in between classes

the son used it because his classes were

3-4 hours apart in between classes he

used to go to the Masjid to pray though

and just study at the Masjid instead of

studying at the library where there’s

plenty of things to look at might as

well go make Salah and pray in the

masjid i’ll be safer that way dad finds

out you’re becoming an extremist son and

what is the extremism in the eye of the

father that the boy is making Salah in

the machine that’s extremism for him

subhanAllah with Muslims themselves

you think non-muslims are averse to

Islam have you seen what Muslim families

are doing to their own what parents are

doing to their children I know of cases

myself where parents said we will not

pay your college tuition we will not

look for a wedding made for you until

you take that job off we will not do it

you do not accept you as our daughter

until you take that thing off we will

not show our face in public with you you

can’t go with us anywhere this is the

mother Talent and you know what they’ll

say what’s amazing about that they’ll

make you feel bad about yourself they’ll

tell you what kind of daughter are you

you should be ashamed to yourself you’re

embarrassing your parents we’re Muslim

but we’re not Muslim Muslim

we’re not that we’re not those kind of

Muslims that’s not how we do things in

our family that’s what they’ll say our

family is different we don’t do things

like that in our family that’s those

moistured people don’t be like those

mustard people that’s what they’ll say

and you know what’s amazing about that

if you look at a portrait of your

great-grandparents from back in the day

good old great grandpa’s got a big old

beard and you can’t even see grandma’s

face so who’s being true to the family

and who’s an embarrassment to the family

see this is Muslim families today and

you’re in the midst of all of this and

you know what happens because you’ve

made a decision to turn towards Islam if

an enemy of Islam came to you and said

abandon your

religion you’d say oh yeah I’m gonna be

even more committed you would become

energized in your zeal for the religion

when the enemy attacks Islam we’d get

even more fired up Muslims get fired up

in the craziest of ways if somebody

draws a cartoon about the messenger

sallallaahu said I’m and Muslims go

crazy and they’ll burn some other guy’s

car up or break somebody else because

they’re really angry but we get fired up

when when something happens some

something questions the dignity of our

religion even if it makes sense or

doesn’t make sense but when your own

family comes and says look I love you

I’m worried about you I don’t want you

to become this way this is the way of

the people who fail out of college you

don’t have a career who have miserable

lives I don’t want you to fall into this

extreme somebody is somebody’s putting

you under their influence you need to

get away from them they’re the ones

pulling you away so how do you deal with

that the most inappropriate response to

this pressure is anger and you know what

that is the most common response to your

parents start yelling at you for growing

the beard and you’re a young hot-blooded

guy what do you do oh yeah it’s the son

knob you can’t tell me what to do you’re

following culture and I’m trying to

follow Islam and you slam the door in

their face way to go because that’s what

Allah wants you to do yell back at your

parents and their just take till they’re

talking about your beard what was if

Raheem’s father talking about

alehissalaam was he talking about

something small or something big

go make such that the idols boy and the

sea-doos is cool does he get angry we

have to learn how to be with our parents

as even when they call you away from

Dean it doesn’t matter if they’re Muslim

or not well in Jogja Dhaka Allah –

Shaniqua B Malaysia that can be here and

felt Otero ma voix Sahib Roja Moffet

duniya alpha allah azza wajal tells us

if they struggle against you to make you

follow what they themselves have no

knowledge of don’t obey them while at

the same time accompanying them in the

most dignified fashion obeying them is

separate respecting them is separate

if you’ve benefited from this video and

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848
00:33:08,060 –> 00:00:00,000
Jerzy como la jolla

the lhasa salallahu alayhi wasalam

actually had a specified time where he

would teach women where he would do that

especially the women of medina and

actually the women of medina were

different from the women of Makkah they

were actually a lot more bold and the

Sahaba even noticed their morbol like

Ramona the Eliza they’re not like the

women of Makkah so there was a

difference between them and their

outspoken and we even know that from

like you know many Arthur and many

hadith texts like you know how mothers

giving a football of the Allahu and when

a woman gets up and says you can’t say

that Allah said this like lady why are

you not in the sister section behind a

glass

why are you oh and you’re talking about

all about you don’t want to like point a

finger at Omar like that but she did

this is like gutsy lady you know he did

that and you know there are sometimes

there are assumptions that men and women

should not interact with each other at

all under any circumstance that’s what

Islam wants that isn’t true as a matter

of fact non-mac had a man and woman

talking to each other in public outside

is mentioned in the Quran musa alayhis

salam went up to two girls that were not

his madam then he went over and talked

to them is about what’s wrong with you

ladies Mahatma come on what’s wrong with

you and they said well we can’t feed our

animals until the whole flock is done

they had a conversation he didn’t go up

to them it says Salam or aleikum

what about to lie about a cat oh yeah oh

yeah

my two sisters in Islam he doesn’t know

even if they’re no Muslims they don’t

know they don’t know him he doesn’t know

them they don’t know he’s musa alayhis

salaam they don’t know that they don’t

know any of that but they had a

conversation with each other and now I’m

talking to another non-muslim about what

a problem there they were wrestling with

sheep so you have to go talk to them

what are you doing what’s going on can I

help with something but he didn’t talk

prolong the conversation he kept it to

the point what are we learning in Quran

if you keep your conversation to the

point it’s fine

you will let you might have a female

co-worker you might have a class I have

students I have to answer their

questions they have a right to me as

much as the brothers ever

to me cuz I’m teaching your class it’s a

matter of justice I can’t put them in

the back and not give them the same kind

of attention that fair and I brought

this up if is it fair or not this is no

it’s acceptable

there are llama that are more

conservative on this and there are Lamar

Lamar that allow it to but there are

plenty of mainstream medicine now across

the schools of thought scholars that

allow this then allow for example this

kind of setting if it’s meant with

certain kind of restrictions you know

there shouldn’t be small talk it mean if

I crack a joke it’s to the entire

audience not the sisters by themselves

is it because that’s inappropriate

that’s not right right and you’re

supposed to have a you know a certain

line there’s supposed to be a certain

line of discomfort between you and

myself or between you and any other non

maximum there’s supposed to be a line of

discomfort there’s supposed to be a

level of seriousness you’re not supposed

to be giggly when you come up

individually in and talk to a nominal

matter man you’re not supposed to be

like no I have a question brother you

said this why

learn to be like that learn to be like

well then learn not to be giggly around

non Mahara men if not smiley does a

kalau hidden for so many things you’re

doing no say that on your own don’t come

up and say to me don’t come up and say

to me say that to your dad there’s like

a long hidin Baba you’re so awesome

great when you come up to a non become

if it’s your teacher if it’s the imam of

the masjid if it’s your employer keep a

serious tone keep a serious tone you

know when a woman uses a serious tone

the man becomes serious automatically

girl comes up to you you think she’s

kind of pretty she comes up Jesus a

Michael you’re not gonna get you play

around now it’s done it’s over but she

can look Jesus now I think I have to lay

I got no good no good for you

then you be like oh why Dickens enough

well you know that’s bad for you so you

you know you have to keep it as a stern

voice and these rules I’m kind of

Ludington that’s Luton already covers

them these rules are already there you

have to keep a stern voice you have to

keep your eyes low as well it doesn’t

mean you don’t look away like brother I

have a question like you do that hi

there but you don’t stare at the person

you know yes sister do ask in the phone

not like that not like that yeah what

you mean I’m sorry you mean I will do

not mean I’m sorry and that’s normal

it’s not like over the top of the idea

is to keep yourself low don’t don’t

stare you know make just enough eye

contact to get your point across and

that’s it that’s that’s all you don’t

need more than that

you know so this these these certain

things they are the guidelines by which

public settings make it make it make it

okay

my teacher told me a story one time of a

man who was walking with his son in the

park and they’re walking together and

his son looked at a crow in a tree and

he said Baba what’s that it’s like two

year old kid baba said it’s a crow and

he said uh-huh

what’s that it’s a crow okay Baba what’s

that

it’s the grow o grow what’s that it’s a

girl it went on for ten minutes he has

some 30 times he counted that kept a

score and he put it in his little

Journal my sign today we were walking in

the park asked me about a crow 30 times

it was the cutest thing in the world

thirty years go by the Sun is not too

the Sun is thirty two Sun fall father

calls him son can I come over

dad it’s not a good time right now so

I’m just just bear with me I just need

that 10 to 15 minutes that’s all I need

just go for a drive I need to talk to

you about something whatever you know

what okay fine so he comes over gets in

the car

they go over drive over to a park what’s

this about dad can you tell me quickly I

got things to do just take a walk with

me son it’s okay I’ll take a walk see

your crow in a tree the dad says son

what’s that seriously father it’s a crow

Oh

son what’s that is this a game

I have things to do okay it’s a crow

it’s like you can’t see I just got you

new glasses last one how is this why is

this happening to me dad why are you so

difficult I don’t understand what the

problem is just tell me what you really

want I’m busy okay the dad pulls out his

journal it’s the son this is something

that happened 30 years ago we were

walking down this part you saw a crow

and you asked me 30 times and I give you

a smile every time you couldn’t handle

twice what are we giving our pants

I’m not even bringing a line to the

picture the fact that Allah mentioned

himself and then mentioned his parents

is you think about that what have they

done for us and what have we done for

them what have we done for them how many

parents they like their children are in

ICUs and they stand there and so

hovering over this little glass box with

a baby inside 24 hours a day 7 days a

week standing in a hospital not even

sitting down standing in a hospital like

eating off feeding off of like vending

machines and that same kid grows up and

doesn’t have the time to call that same

kid you know how many mothers almost

died giving birth almost died giving

birth and now it’s so difficult to

respond to her call or just give her

just a couple of minutes a day this is

let her feel a little important now how

unfair that is that the you were the

most important thing to them and your

they are so insignificant to you how

unfair that is you know they carry that

pain with them every day that I am

nothing to my check my children I mean

nothing’s that worthless to them

you know they have no time for me when

something is worth something to you it

gets your time most of you at this age

you want to just get away from your

parents there’s a lot of reason with

your friends you want to be on your own

you just don’t want to be with your

parents you know that’s you you develop

this crooked habit now and it will only

get worse over time our parents have

very very very strong emotions they’re

very protective of us for them you won’t

know this until you become a parent for

them it doesn’t matter when you turn 60

you’re still their baby they still they

still remember changing your diaper they

still remember feeding you milk this

still remember burping you and cleaning

up after you you know peed in the

backseat they still remember that you

don’t remember that they remember that

my son won’t remember that was a cup I

gotta go I gotta go I gotta go then all

of a sudden he stops complaining about

all

time to roll down the window you know

they start side by what toy are we gonna

get for either like oh okay

this has not been a good day for the car

but what he’s graduating college and

when the one day is getting married and

one day he has his own he’s not gonna

remember that

but guess we’ll never forget I’ll never

forget I’ll never forget carrying him

into a bathroom cleaning him up changing

his clothes I’m blond

but the spider-man pajamas on he won’t

remember he won’t remember any of that

I will I will and that same kid he’s

talking back to me one day when he’s

telling me dad I just don’t understand

you okay I don’t have time right now

when he does it’s gonna hurt man that’s

gonna hurt that’s what you do the other

parents also what I do to my parents

they were our life they were they give

up their life for us our parents gave up

careers for us our parents gave up

vacations for us our parents gave up

friends for us you know that I know that

now I didn’t know that then you they had

an entire life planned until you came

along

and then you became their plan you

became everything and you have the nerve

one thing doesn’t go your way you know

one thing you don’t want to hear you

snap back at them

it’s just we’re not even talking about

Islam right now we’re just talking about

decency man just decency what what have

they done for you and what you give them

back is so unfair it is so unfair my

dad’s so annoying my mom saw this there

so it’s always mad they’re never happy

there’s this there’s that what are you

what about you I’m telling you I can’t

say this enough times if you don’t earn

your parents does nothing good will come

of your life nothing good will come of

your life if they’re not happy

if you haven’t done everything you can

to make them happy

so let’s now talk in this few minutes we

have together about how to at least

practically build that solution I like

to talk you know when we talk about

reminders we talk about grand things

when we talk about advice I believe in

talking about advice from a very

practical even minimalist point of view

things that you can practically do and

that’s why I don’t like to share much

personally even though I read them for

myself for inspiration I don’t like to

share stories of the tabulator whenever

I’m the Sahaba the companions of the

prophet or the aloha ajma’in who prayed

the entire night or reciting the whole

Quran in a week or made Dorai and then

it started right out of those stories I

don’t share them you know why because

you know what happens so most of you

when you hear that man they were so

awesome I’m so bad Salaam alaikum

that’s the end of that man Sabah were

really cool I’m so going to hell that’s

it that’s that let’s start little by

little I wanna lay the Kitab from my in

Hemet the arabs have a saying it says if

you it’s in many other cultures to the

first of the heavy rain is just a drop

there that pours right let it build

little by little the first thing you

gotta do is you have to discipline your

life people I have to do it you have to

do it you know what it means to

discipline your life go to sleep early

pray assha and go to sleep don’t go to

the hole cut joint until 12:30 a.m.

don’t go see a movie

don’t go hang out with your friends

don’t watch Islamic lectures until 2:00

in the morning do not it is not

beneficial for you pray Asia and go to

sleep and wake up early wake up before

fudger

give yourself 30 minutes 15 minutes 20 I

know it seems impossible it’s only

impossible because of Netflix at night

okay

that’s the only reason it’s impossible

give the night life up let the night be

for sleep at least you’re not

accumulating sin every night at least

you’re not burying your heart under more

sin every night at least you’re sleeping

at least you’re innocent for that much

and leaves that much then you wake up

and you pray at least start with a

routine of praying fudge you’re on time

start with fudge on and the guys here at

least at least once a week guys make it

to the Masjid for fudger

at least why I don’t ask you every day

just one day a week give yourselves one

day a week and you don’t catch the

second in a cow right before the Salam

right and then after you finish making

it up you’re like all mushed it today

that’s right

you’re like pointing at the right hand

you wrote that down you got that you got

that yeah get to the mush said early let

me tell you something about fudger in

the masjid it has a spiritual impact

that only people who go to it will

experience it can’t be explained in a

lecture when you go to it when you go to

the prayer and you sit there into my

quietly and you wait for the prayer

to start and you sit there and you

recite Quran and you ask a lot of

forgive you in those morning hours and

then you stand next to other believers

and countless armies of angels and you

stand and you pray in front of Allah and

that early morning giving up your sleep

which only happened because you gave up

your night life when you do that even

once a week the joy you will get out of

it you will as you are walking out of

the machine you will wish to yourself

you did that every morning I swear to it

I guarantee you you’re gonna walk out of

that machine saying man I wish I could

do this every morning

you really will let’s start with once a

week start with once a week

this idea of a head one there’s one of

the great writers on Islamic theology in

Pakistan actually Raphael Dean dr.

Raphael Dean commenting on the Sola said

something amazing and I really

appreciated it because I think for

modern audiences this kind of stuff

needs to be said and heard Allah created

the human being with the knowledge of

himself the human being knew already

there is this highest ideal Allah Azza

WA JAL and not just that there is a God

and he created us and now we can do

whatever we want no he’s the rub he’s

the master he’s the my goal in life is

to do what he wants this is my highest

ideal my greatest accomplishment ever

can be that I become his slave that

would be the greatest honor I can have

the messenger of allah salallahu alaihe

salam his greatest honor so Hamlet es la

be a Buddha he he becomes a habit of

Allah the save of Allah is a great honor

that’s the goal in life and a lot of

pre-programmed that goal inside every

single human being but if you lose sight

of that goal it is like this you know

you have this thirst this hunger inside

you to fulfill that goal Allah created

you with that but when your appetite is

not filled with healthy food what do you

fill it with if you don’t get the right

meal are you gonna say I’m not gonna eat

at all no when a person is starving and

there’s no food of their preference or

there’s no healthy food

there’s even filth barks of trees will

the human being still start chewing on

that when he’s when it comes to that

they will when you lose sight of Allah

as Oh again and that no longer is your

goal then necessarily you will find a

replacement necessarily it is necessary

to have something you aspire towards

that is the mission of your life the one

who has found Allah what becomes what

happens to them in NASA Lahti well new

tsuki

huama hyah huama mati lillahi rabbil

alameen it’s very simple for them the

one who has really found Allah there’s a

lives for Allah their sacrifices for

Allah their life and their death is now

for Allah the way they live the way they

eat the way they sleep what they want to

do what their

their long-term goals their short-term

goals what are they gonna do with their

kids why are they getting an education

where they’re gonna work everything is

now for Allah that is their goal but for

the one who doesn’t have that goal they

have to find another goal and in old

times they used to be idols they used to

be other religions you find some other

God but in our times that’s become far

more pathetic far more pathetic now you

have someone who’s obsessed with their

body and they’re working out 18 hours a

day and their only goal in life their

only goal in life is to just keep

getting buffer and buffer it’s the only

goal take star and look sharp and stay

on top keep in shape or there’s this

goal they set with their trainer I got

to do this many reps or I got to do this

many push-ups or I gotta get benchpress

this many pounds etc that’s their goal

that has become the illah for a person

that their life has become about money

they have you met people they cannot

talk about anything except their work

they can’t yeah I work at this company I

do this this business and the moment

they lose their job they become suicidal

because that’s all they ever thought

about that’s all they ever did with

their life that’s all they ever did that

becomes their goal for some people it’s

their children they live for their

children they do everything for their

children day and night they think about

their children there is no other thought

running in their mind there is no other

goal before them than their children

that is all they run after when you

don’t find him you will find something

else you will find something else and

you will run after it and you will give

your life to it and this is a there is

no exception among human beings and

today it could be even a slacker you

grab and you could ask me what about a

slacker in all those kids that play 20

hours of video games a day and don’t get

off the couch well what is their goal it

is to entertain themselves it is to fry

their brain cells behind the screen that

is their ultimate goal that is what they

want to reach and there they’re working

hard to attain it every day right that’s

what it becomes these are the

psychological implications of

understanding to hate it is easy to say

Allah is one but is he one in my life it

is easy easy the one for me or do I have

some other one that I’m running out

or some other thing that I put before

myself Allah asked this question

rhetorically he says mouth because

Kadeem what deluded you from your

gracious master what was so important to

you that you ran after that you couldn’t

come after this ha

so how Allah so when he uses this word

who Allahu Ahad it’s psychological

implications its implications on our

attitude towards Allah and how we think

about our life completely changes now

there is nothing more important to me

than making him happy nothing more

important to me than him being pleased

with me nothing more important to me

than he forgiving me nothing more

important that me that he would talk to

me on the day of judgment telling me

that I’m successful he would look

towards me I will not be from the ones

he turns away from when I you can Li mo

home alarm and teamö Allah will not talk

to them on the day of judgement may

Allah not make us from those people

these are some of the psychological

implications of just internalizing ahead

I had just that word what Allah is

saying somehow this is who Allah is this

is what he’s supposed to do and I want

to conclude because it’s like time for

Salah with the following this is the I

can’t quote it model because I’m

terrible at or do but I’ll tell you the

meaning of the verse ok although I like

the verse myself so it’s poetry but he

says what used to be he’s talking about

it’s a poet Oh he’d it’s a poem about

though he’d and he says what used to be

something that burned in the hearts of

men when burned in the hearts of men is

now a subject of abstract philosophical

debate that’s what he says now what is

though hate to us today debates

discussions abstract discussions in you

know in theology that have no end to

them no end to them but what it used to

be was something that burned inside the

hearts am i fulfilling the rights of a

head yet am i doing justice to that I

had yet may Allah make us of the people

of tawheed may Allah give us in our

hearts what bird the likes of which

burned in the heart of ibraheem

alehissalaam

and the Messenger of Allah and the

Sahaba of the allahu anhu much marine

will continue the story of Yusuf idea

Saddam can be broken up into twelve

parts

if you know the story you can easily as

it is in surah-e-yusuf

you can break it up into twelve parts

I’ll tell you I am Telling You this when

I was in college before I was even

interested in Islam I took a course

called world literature and in that

course we studied some parts of Plato’s

Republic Aristotle we even studied

actually the Communist Manifesto we read

something from the Confucius we read

some things from the Bible we had

something from the Quran and at the time

I didn’t know any Arabic when we took

this course one of our homework

assignments was to compare the story of

Joseph in the Bible to the story of use

of race that I’m in the Quran there was

a homework assignment and the only thing

I had was the translation I’ll tell you

what happened at the end of that

homework assignment later but let’s go

back to this

how many parts did I say the story has

what Sudan number is it anyone know 12

solar number 12 has two parts

interestingly anyway here’s the first

part use of under his Salam sees a dream

the second part his brothers make a plan

against him the third part and by the

way the plan succeeds and he’s taken

away from his family you know what

happens the third major part the wife of

the minister tries to seduce Yusuf

alayhi Salaam the test that he was put

through so the first part was the dream

the second was the brothers the third

was the wife of the minister the fourth

one was when she called the ladies she

called all of the ladies and they also

fell in and they you know did what they

did with the knife they weren’t very

good with knives and then the fifth part

Yusuf Ali he said I’m ended up in jail

you guys know that part right he was

falsely accused and he went in jail the

sixth part is when the King had a dream

and he couldn’t figure out what the

dream means what kind of animal did he

see in the dream call it out loud hmm

a cow there you go this that’s a very

loud cow over there okay now the seventh

part is that the dream that he had gets

interpreted by Yusuf alehissalaam so he

doesn’t know what to do with the dream

they sent for you so far they Saddam he

interprets the dream the eighth part is

Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released from

prison he gets out of prison the ninth

part is the women remember those ladies

the knives they confess they admit that

they did something wrong the tenth part

the wife of the minister also confesses

the eleventh part the brothers learned

their lesson you know the brothers who

put him in the well in the beginning now

we’re in part 11 and they learned their

lesson final part part 12 the dream of

use of alehissalaam gets interpreted

finally he knows what that that we love

the was the interpretation of the dream

was okay how many parts did I say again

well now listen carefully

part one he sees a dream part 12 the

dream gets interpreted part 2 the

brothers make a scheme against him part

11 backwards the brothers learned their

lesson and they asked for forgiveness

part 3 the life of the minister tries to

scheme against Yusuf part 10 going

backwards

the wife confesses that she was wrong

part 4 the ladies tried to seduce or say

something about Yusuf money Saddam heart

nothing the lady’s confess part 5 Yusuf

Hani Salaam goes to jail going backwards

part 8 Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released

from prison part 6 the King sees a dream

part 7 the King’s dream is interpreted

this is not a book it was a speech there

was no editing there was no here are the

12 parts let’s put part 1 and part 12 r2

and part 11 part 3 in part 10 it wasn’t

like that it was given as a surah that

also say some recited it and just in

that recitation it has this perfect

symmetry so Hanna mamma jamma Hassan

Kadam

now maybe you were such a person maybe

you were a person that wasn’t very

religious at all and you were living

life like the rest of your extended

family but something came in your heart

and you said you know what I’m gonna

take this guidance seriously I don’t

know how it happened maybe Allah made it

happen through some YouTube video huh

it happened through some hot boy you

heard or a friend or however it happened

but you decided to make a change for the

better in your life and when you start

changing the behavior in your life the

first people to see a change in you will

be your own family they will notice it

they will notice that you’re not the

same anymore you don’t talk the same you

don’t act the same you don’t go to the

same places you don’t even have the same

friends anymore and this necessarily

happens when you take a turn towards

Islam necessarily you start losing

friends because you’re old friends used

to do pretty bad things and now you

can’t do those things with them anymore

so you suffer a loss of friends and at

the same time your family starts saying

you’re acting a little too weird and for

the young man the family might even say

what’s that thing on your face you

forgot to shave what happened to you and

the girl starts wearing the job and the

family might even be in shock and this

is a Muslim family mind you they’ll say

take that thing off your head

you’re gonna go out to the wedding

looking like that I can’t sit in the car

with you like that what do you think we

are who do you all of a sudden you’re

the Islamic role model who died and made

you share that all of a sudden we should

be looking up to you remember what you

were like last year man you were the

party animal now you’re going to go make

Celaya seriously please we know what

you’re really like in other words this

now Dom not only have you lost your

friends from your family you get the

nastiest kinds of sarcasm and criticism

all the time all the time every chance

they get they say something to you they

say something about your beard they say

something about your habits of making

Salah this is something about you going

to the Ignite convention this is

something about putting your children in

Islamic school this is something about

sending your children to Sunday School

are you getting up for fudger or a Shia

and going to the Masjid they’ll have

some comments for you and those comments

hurt they burn pretty

good this happens to young men in the

audience where their parents start

telling them to stop hanging out with

their other Muslim friends don’t go to

the Masjid don’t waste your time I will

lie him myself know of stories where the

father found out that in between classes

the son used it because his classes were

3-4 hours apart in between classes he

used to go to the Masjid to pray though

and just study at the Masjid instead of

studying at the library where there’s

plenty of things to look at might as

well go make Salah and pray in the

masjid i’ll be safer that way dad finds

out you’re becoming an extremist son and

what is the extremism in the eye of the

father that the boy is making Salah in

the machine that’s extremism for him

subhanAllah with Muslims themselves

you think non-muslims are averse to

Islam have you seen what Muslim families

are doing to their own what parents are

doing to their children I know of cases

myself where parents said we will not

pay your college tuition we will not

look for a wedding made for you until

you take that job off we will not do it

you do not accept you as our daughter

until you take that thing off we will

not show our face in public with you you

can’t go with us anywhere this is the

mother Talent and you know what they’ll

say what’s amazing about that they’ll

make you feel bad about yourself they’ll

tell you what kind of daughter are you

you should be ashamed to yourself you’re

embarrassing your parents we’re Muslim

but we’re not Muslim Muslim

we’re not that we’re not those kind of

Muslims that’s not how we do things in

our family that’s what they’ll say our

family is different we don’t do things

like that in our family that’s those

moistured people don’t be like those

mustard people that’s what they’ll say

and you know what’s amazing about that

if you look at a portrait of your

great-grandparents from back in the day

good old great grandpa’s got a big old

beard and you can’t even see grandma’s

face so who’s being true to the family

and who’s an embarrassment to the family

see this is Muslim families today and

you’re in the midst of all of this and

you know what happens because you’ve

made a decision to turn towards Islam if

an enemy of Islam came to you and said

abandon your

religion you’d say oh yeah I’m gonna be

even more committed you would become

energized in your zeal for the religion

when the enemy attacks Islam we’d get

even more fired up Muslims get fired up

in the craziest of ways if somebody

draws a cartoon about the messenger

sallallaahu said I’m and Muslims go

crazy and they’ll burn some other guy’s

car up or break somebody else because

they’re really angry but we get fired up

when when something happens some

something questions the dignity of our

religion even if it makes sense or

doesn’t make sense but when your own

family comes and says look I love you

I’m worried about you I don’t want you

to become this way this is the way of

the people who fail out of college you

don’t have a career who have miserable

lives I don’t want you to fall into this

extreme somebody is somebody’s putting

you under their influence you need to

get away from them they’re the ones

pulling you away so how do you deal with

that the most inappropriate response to

this pressure is anger and you know what

that is the most common response to your

parents start yelling at you for growing

the beard and you’re a young hot-blooded

guy what do you do oh yeah it’s the son

knob you can’t tell me what to do you’re

following culture and I’m trying to

follow Islam and you slam the door in

their face way to go because that’s what

Allah wants you to do yell back at your

parents and their just take till they’re

talking about your beard what was if

Raheem’s father talking about

alehissalaam was he talking about

something small or something big

go make such that the idols boy and the

sea-doos is cool does he get angry we

have to learn how to be with our parents

as even when they call you away from

Dean it doesn’t matter if they’re Muslim

or not well in Jogja Dhaka Allah –

Shaniqua B Malaysia that can be here and

felt Otero ma voix Sahib Roja Moffet

duniya alpha allah azza wajal tells us

if they struggle against you to make you

follow what they themselves have no

knowledge of don’t obey them while at

the same time accompanying them in the

most dignified fashion obeying them is

separate respecting them is separate

if you’ve benefited from this video and

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848
00:33:08,060 –> 00:00:00,000
Jerzy como la jolla

the lhasa salallahu alayhi wasalam

actually had a specified time where he

would teach women where he would do that

especially the women of medina and

actually the women of medina were

different from the women of Makkah they

were actually a lot more bold and the

Sahaba even noticed their morbol like

Ramona the Eliza they’re not like the

women of Makkah so there was a

difference between them and their

outspoken and we even know that from

like you know many Arthur and many

hadith texts like you know how mothers

giving a football of the Allahu and when

a woman gets up and says you can’t say

that Allah said this like lady why are

you not in the sister section behind a

glass

why are you oh and you’re talking about

all about you don’t want to like point a

finger at Omar like that but she did

this is like gutsy lady you know he did

that and you know there are sometimes

there are assumptions that men and women

should not interact with each other at

all under any circumstance that’s what

Islam wants that isn’t true as a matter

of fact non-mac had a man and woman

talking to each other in public outside

is mentioned in the Quran musa alayhis

salam went up to two girls that were not

his madam then he went over and talked

to them is about what’s wrong with you

ladies Mahatma come on what’s wrong with

you and they said well we can’t feed our

animals until the whole flock is done

they had a conversation he didn’t go up

to them it says Salam or aleikum

what about to lie about a cat oh yeah oh

yeah

my two sisters in Islam he doesn’t know

even if they’re no Muslims they don’t

know they don’t know him he doesn’t know

them they don’t know he’s musa alayhis

salaam they don’t know that they don’t

know any of that but they had a

conversation with each other and now I’m

talking to another non-muslim about what

a problem there they were wrestling with

sheep so you have to go talk to them

what are you doing what’s going on can I

help with something but he didn’t talk

prolong the conversation he kept it to

the point what are we learning in Quran

if you keep your conversation to the

point it’s fine

you will let you might have a female

co-worker you might have a class I have

students I have to answer their

questions they have a right to me as

much as the brothers ever

to me cuz I’m teaching your class it’s a

matter of justice I can’t put them in

the back and not give them the same kind

of attention that fair and I brought

this up if is it fair or not this is no

it’s acceptable

there are llama that are more

conservative on this and there are Lamar

Lamar that allow it to but there are

plenty of mainstream medicine now across

the schools of thought scholars that

allow this then allow for example this

kind of setting if it’s meant with

certain kind of restrictions you know

there shouldn’t be small talk it mean if

I crack a joke it’s to the entire

audience not the sisters by themselves

is it because that’s inappropriate

that’s not right right and you’re

supposed to have a you know a certain

line there’s supposed to be a certain

line of discomfort between you and

myself or between you and any other non

maximum there’s supposed to be a line of

discomfort there’s supposed to be a

level of seriousness you’re not supposed

to be giggly when you come up

individually in and talk to a nominal

matter man you’re not supposed to be

like no I have a question brother you

said this why

learn to be like that learn to be like

well then learn not to be giggly around

non Mahara men if not smiley does a

kalau hidden for so many things you’re

doing no say that on your own don’t come

up and say to me don’t come up and say

to me say that to your dad there’s like

a long hidin Baba you’re so awesome

great when you come up to a non become

if it’s your teacher if it’s the imam of

the masjid if it’s your employer keep a

serious tone keep a serious tone you

know when a woman uses a serious tone

the man becomes serious automatically

girl comes up to you you think she’s

kind of pretty she comes up Jesus a

Michael you’re not gonna get you play

around now it’s done it’s over but she

can look Jesus now I think I have to lay

I got no good no good for you

then you be like oh why Dickens enough

well you know that’s bad for you so you

you know you have to keep it as a stern

voice and these rules I’m kind of

Ludington that’s Luton already covers

them these rules are already there you

have to keep a stern voice you have to

keep your eyes low as well it doesn’t

mean you don’t look away like brother I

have a question like you do that hi

there but you don’t stare at the person

you know yes sister do ask in the phone

not like that not like that yeah what

you mean I’m sorry you mean I will do

not mean I’m sorry and that’s normal

it’s not like over the top of the idea

is to keep yourself low don’t don’t

stare you know make just enough eye

contact to get your point across and

that’s it that’s that’s all you don’t

need more than that

you know so this these these certain

things they are the guidelines by which

public settings make it make it make it

okay

my teacher told me a story one time of a

man who was walking with his son in the

park and they’re walking together and

his son looked at a crow in a tree and

he said Baba what’s that it’s like two

year old kid baba said it’s a crow and

he said uh-huh

what’s that it’s a crow okay Baba what’s

that

it’s the grow o grow what’s that it’s a

girl it went on for ten minutes he has

some 30 times he counted that kept a

score and he put it in his little

Journal my sign today we were walking in

the park asked me about a crow 30 times

it was the cutest thing in the world

thirty years go by the Sun is not too

the Sun is thirty two Sun fall father

calls him son can I come over

dad it’s not a good time right now so

I’m just just bear with me I just need

that 10 to 15 minutes that’s all I need

just go for a drive I need to talk to

you about something whatever you know

what okay fine so he comes over gets in

the car

they go over drive over to a park what’s

this about dad can you tell me quickly I

got things to do just take a walk with

me son it’s okay I’ll take a walk see

your crow in a tree the dad says son

what’s that seriously father it’s a crow

Oh

son what’s that is this a game

I have things to do okay it’s a crow

it’s like you can’t see I just got you

new glasses last one how is this why is

this happening to me dad why are you so

difficult I don’t understand what the

problem is just tell me what you really

want I’m busy okay the dad pulls out his

journal it’s the son this is something

that happened 30 years ago we were

walking down this part you saw a crow

and you asked me 30 times and I give you

a smile every time you couldn’t handle

twice what are we giving our pants

I’m not even bringing a line to the

picture the fact that Allah mentioned

himself and then mentioned his parents

is you think about that what have they

done for us and what have we done for

them what have we done for them how many

parents they like their children are in

ICUs and they stand there and so

hovering over this little glass box with

a baby inside 24 hours a day 7 days a

week standing in a hospital not even

sitting down standing in a hospital like

eating off feeding off of like vending

machines and that same kid grows up and

doesn’t have the time to call that same

kid you know how many mothers almost

died giving birth almost died giving

birth and now it’s so difficult to

respond to her call or just give her

just a couple of minutes a day this is

let her feel a little important now how

unfair that is that the you were the

most important thing to them and your

they are so insignificant to you how

unfair that is you know they carry that

pain with them every day that I am

nothing to my check my children I mean

nothing’s that worthless to them

you know they have no time for me when

something is worth something to you it

gets your time most of you at this age

you want to just get away from your

parents there’s a lot of reason with

your friends you want to be on your own

you just don’t want to be with your

parents you know that’s you you develop

this crooked habit now and it will only

get worse over time our parents have

very very very strong emotions they’re

very protective of us for them you won’t

know this until you become a parent for

them it doesn’t matter when you turn 60

you’re still their baby they still they

still remember changing your diaper they

still remember feeding you milk this

still remember burping you and cleaning

up after you you know peed in the

backseat they still remember that you

don’t remember that they remember that

my son won’t remember that was a cup I

gotta go I gotta go I gotta go then all

of a sudden he stops complaining about

all

time to roll down the window you know

they start side by what toy are we gonna

get for either like oh okay

this has not been a good day for the car

but what he’s graduating college and

when the one day is getting married and

one day he has his own he’s not gonna

remember that

but guess we’ll never forget I’ll never

forget I’ll never forget carrying him

into a bathroom cleaning him up changing

his clothes I’m blond

but the spider-man pajamas on he won’t

remember he won’t remember any of that

I will I will and that same kid he’s

talking back to me one day when he’s

telling me dad I just don’t understand

you okay I don’t have time right now

when he does it’s gonna hurt man that’s

gonna hurt that’s what you do the other

parents also what I do to my parents

they were our life they were they give

up their life for us our parents gave up

careers for us our parents gave up

vacations for us our parents gave up

friends for us you know that I know that

now I didn’t know that then you they had

an entire life planned until you came

along

and then you became their plan you

became everything and you have the nerve

one thing doesn’t go your way you know

one thing you don’t want to hear you

snap back at them

it’s just we’re not even talking about

Islam right now we’re just talking about

decency man just decency what what have

they done for you and what you give them

back is so unfair it is so unfair my

dad’s so annoying my mom saw this there

so it’s always mad they’re never happy

there’s this there’s that what are you

what about you I’m telling you I can’t

say this enough times if you don’t earn

your parents does nothing good will come

of your life nothing good will come of

your life if they’re not happy

if you haven’t done everything you can

to make them happy

so let’s now talk in this few minutes we

have together about how to at least

practically build that solution I like

to talk you know when we talk about

reminders we talk about grand things

when we talk about advice I believe in

talking about advice from a very

practical even minimalist point of view

things that you can practically do and

that’s why I don’t like to share much

personally even though I read them for

myself for inspiration I don’t like to

share stories of the tabulator whenever

I’m the Sahaba the companions of the

prophet or the aloha ajma’in who prayed

the entire night or reciting the whole

Quran in a week or made Dorai and then

it started right out of those stories I

don’t share them you know why because

you know what happens so most of you

when you hear that man they were so

awesome I’m so bad Salaam alaikum

that’s the end of that man Sabah were

really cool I’m so going to hell that’s

it that’s that let’s start little by

little I wanna lay the Kitab from my in

Hemet the arabs have a saying it says if

you it’s in many other cultures to the

first of the heavy rain is just a drop

there that pours right let it build

little by little the first thing you

gotta do is you have to discipline your

life people I have to do it you have to

do it you know what it means to

discipline your life go to sleep early

pray assha and go to sleep don’t go to

the hole cut joint until 12:30 a.m.

don’t go see a movie

don’t go hang out with your friends

don’t watch Islamic lectures until 2:00

in the morning do not it is not

beneficial for you pray Asia and go to

sleep and wake up early wake up before

fudger

give yourself 30 minutes 15 minutes 20 I

know it seems impossible it’s only

impossible because of Netflix at night

okay

that’s the only reason it’s impossible

give the night life up let the night be

for sleep at least you’re not

accumulating sin every night at least

you’re not burying your heart under more

sin every night at least you’re sleeping

at least you’re innocent for that much

and leaves that much then you wake up

and you pray at least start with a

routine of praying fudge you’re on time

start with fudge on and the guys here at

least at least once a week guys make it

to the Masjid for fudger

at least why I don’t ask you every day

just one day a week give yourselves one

day a week and you don’t catch the

second in a cow right before the Salam

right and then after you finish making

it up you’re like all mushed it today

that’s right

you’re like pointing at the right hand

you wrote that down you got that you got

that yeah get to the mush said early let

me tell you something about fudger in

the masjid it has a spiritual impact

that only people who go to it will

experience it can’t be explained in a

lecture when you go to it when you go to

the prayer and you sit there into my

quietly and you wait for the prayer

to start and you sit there and you

recite Quran and you ask a lot of

forgive you in those morning hours and

then you stand next to other believers

and countless armies of angels and you

stand and you pray in front of Allah and

that early morning giving up your sleep

which only happened because you gave up

your night life when you do that even

once a week the joy you will get out of

it you will as you are walking out of

the machine you will wish to yourself

you did that every morning I swear to it

I guarantee you you’re gonna walk out of

that machine saying man I wish I could

do this every morning

you really will let’s start with once a

week start with once a week

this idea of a head one there’s one of

the great writers on Islamic theology in

Pakistan actually Raphael Dean dr.

Raphael Dean commenting on the Sola said

something amazing and I really

appreciated it because I think for

modern audiences this kind of stuff

needs to be said and heard Allah created

the human being with the knowledge of

himself the human being knew already

there is this highest ideal Allah Azza

WA JAL and not just that there is a God

and he created us and now we can do

whatever we want no he’s the rub he’s

the master he’s the my goal in life is

to do what he wants this is my highest

ideal my greatest accomplishment ever

can be that I become his slave that

would be the greatest honor I can have

the messenger of allah salallahu alaihe

salam his greatest honor so Hamlet es la

be a Buddha he he becomes a habit of

Allah the save of Allah is a great honor

that’s the goal in life and a lot of

pre-programmed that goal inside every

single human being but if you lose sight

of that goal it is like this you know

you have this thirst this hunger inside

you to fulfill that goal Allah created

you with that but when your appetite is

not filled with healthy food what do you

fill it with if you don’t get the right

meal are you gonna say I’m not gonna eat

at all no when a person is starving and

there’s no food of their preference or

there’s no healthy food

there’s even filth barks of trees will

the human being still start chewing on

that when he’s when it comes to that

they will when you lose sight of Allah

as Oh again and that no longer is your

goal then necessarily you will find a

replacement necessarily it is necessary

to have something you aspire towards

that is the mission of your life the one

who has found Allah what becomes what

happens to them in NASA Lahti well new

tsuki

huama hyah huama mati lillahi rabbil

alameen it’s very simple for them the

one who has really found Allah there’s a

lives for Allah their sacrifices for

Allah their life and their death is now

for Allah the way they live the way they

eat the way they sleep what they want to

do what their

their long-term goals their short-term

goals what are they gonna do with their

kids why are they getting an education

where they’re gonna work everything is

now for Allah that is their goal but for

the one who doesn’t have that goal they

have to find another goal and in old

times they used to be idols they used to

be other religions you find some other

God but in our times that’s become far

more pathetic far more pathetic now you

have someone who’s obsessed with their

body and they’re working out 18 hours a

day and their only goal in life their

only goal in life is to just keep

getting buffer and buffer it’s the only

goal take star and look sharp and stay

on top keep in shape or there’s this

goal they set with their trainer I got

to do this many reps or I got to do this

many push-ups or I gotta get benchpress

this many pounds etc that’s their goal

that has become the illah for a person

that their life has become about money

they have you met people they cannot

talk about anything except their work

they can’t yeah I work at this company I

do this this business and the moment

they lose their job they become suicidal

because that’s all they ever thought

about that’s all they ever did with

their life that’s all they ever did that

becomes their goal for some people it’s

their children they live for their

children they do everything for their

children day and night they think about

their children there is no other thought

running in their mind there is no other

goal before them than their children

that is all they run after when you

don’t find him you will find something

else you will find something else and

you will run after it and you will give

your life to it and this is a there is

no exception among human beings and

today it could be even a slacker you

grab and you could ask me what about a

slacker in all those kids that play 20

hours of video games a day and don’t get

off the couch well what is their goal it

is to entertain themselves it is to fry

their brain cells behind the screen that

is their ultimate goal that is what they

want to reach and there they’re working

hard to attain it every day right that’s

what it becomes these are the

psychological implications of

understanding to hate it is easy to say

Allah is one but is he one in my life it

is easy easy the one for me or do I have

some other one that I’m running out

or some other thing that I put before

myself Allah asked this question

rhetorically he says mouth because

Kadeem what deluded you from your

gracious master what was so important to

you that you ran after that you couldn’t

come after this ha

so how Allah so when he uses this word

who Allahu Ahad it’s psychological

implications its implications on our

attitude towards Allah and how we think

about our life completely changes now

there is nothing more important to me

than making him happy nothing more

important to me than him being pleased

with me nothing more important to me

than he forgiving me nothing more

important that me that he would talk to

me on the day of judgment telling me

that I’m successful he would look

towards me I will not be from the ones

he turns away from when I you can Li mo

home alarm and teamö Allah will not talk

to them on the day of judgement may

Allah not make us from those people

these are some of the psychological

implications of just internalizing ahead

I had just that word what Allah is

saying somehow this is who Allah is this

is what he’s supposed to do and I want

to conclude because it’s like time for

Salah with the following this is the I

can’t quote it model because I’m

terrible at or do but I’ll tell you the

meaning of the verse ok although I like

the verse myself so it’s poetry but he

says what used to be he’s talking about

it’s a poet Oh he’d it’s a poem about

though he’d and he says what used to be

something that burned in the hearts of

men when burned in the hearts of men is

now a subject of abstract philosophical

debate that’s what he says now what is

though hate to us today debates

discussions abstract discussions in you

know in theology that have no end to

them no end to them but what it used to

be was something that burned inside the

hearts am i fulfilling the rights of a

head yet am i doing justice to that I

had yet may Allah make us of the people

of tawheed may Allah give us in our

hearts what bird the likes of which

burned in the heart of ibraheem

alehissalaam

and the Messenger of Allah and the

Sahaba of the allahu anhu much marine

will continue the story of Yusuf idea

Saddam can be broken up into twelve

parts

if you know the story you can easily as

it is in surah-e-yusuf

you can break it up into twelve parts

I’ll tell you I am Telling You this when

I was in college before I was even

interested in Islam I took a course

called world literature and in that

course we studied some parts of Plato’s

Republic Aristotle we even studied

actually the Communist Manifesto we read

something from the Confucius we read

some things from the Bible we had

something from the Quran and at the time

I didn’t know any Arabic when we took

this course one of our homework

assignments was to compare the story of

Joseph in the Bible to the story of use

of race that I’m in the Quran there was

a homework assignment and the only thing

I had was the translation I’ll tell you

what happened at the end of that

homework assignment later but let’s go

back to this

how many parts did I say the story has

what Sudan number is it anyone know 12

solar number 12 has two parts

interestingly anyway here’s the first

part use of under his Salam sees a dream

the second part his brothers make a plan

against him the third part and by the

way the plan succeeds and he’s taken

away from his family you know what

happens the third major part the wife of

the minister tries to seduce Yusuf

alayhi Salaam the test that he was put

through so the first part was the dream

the second was the brothers the third

was the wife of the minister the fourth

one was when she called the ladies she

called all of the ladies and they also

fell in and they you know did what they

did with the knife they weren’t very

good with knives and then the fifth part

Yusuf Ali he said I’m ended up in jail

you guys know that part right he was

falsely accused and he went in jail the

sixth part is when the King had a dream

and he couldn’t figure out what the

dream means what kind of animal did he

see in the dream call it out loud hmm

a cow there you go this that’s a very

loud cow over there okay now the seventh

part is that the dream that he had gets

interpreted by Yusuf alehissalaam so he

doesn’t know what to do with the dream

they sent for you so far they Saddam he

interprets the dream the eighth part is

Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released from

prison he gets out of prison the ninth

part is the women remember those ladies

the knives they confess they admit that

they did something wrong the tenth part

the wife of the minister also confesses

the eleventh part the brothers learned

their lesson you know the brothers who

put him in the well in the beginning now

we’re in part 11 and they learned their

lesson final part part 12 the dream of

use of alehissalaam gets interpreted

finally he knows what that that we love

the was the interpretation of the dream

was okay how many parts did I say again

well now listen carefully

part one he sees a dream part 12 the

dream gets interpreted part 2 the

brothers make a scheme against him part

11 backwards the brothers learned their

lesson and they asked for forgiveness

part 3 the life of the minister tries to

scheme against Yusuf part 10 going

backwards

the wife confesses that she was wrong

part 4 the ladies tried to seduce or say

something about Yusuf money Saddam heart

nothing the lady’s confess part 5 Yusuf

Hani Salaam goes to jail going backwards

part 8 Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released

from prison part 6 the King sees a dream

part 7 the King’s dream is interpreted

this is not a book it was a speech there

was no editing there was no here are the

12 parts let’s put part 1 and part 12 r2

and part 11 part 3 in part 10 it wasn’t

like that it was given as a surah that

also say some recited it and just in

that recitation it has this perfect

symmetry so Hanna mamma jamma Hassan

Kadam

now maybe you were such a person maybe

you were a person that wasn’t very

religious at all and you were living

life like the rest of your extended

family but something came in your heart

and you said you know what I’m gonna

take this guidance seriously I don’t

know how it happened maybe Allah made it

happen through some YouTube video huh

it happened through some hot boy you

heard or a friend or however it happened

but you decided to make a change for the

better in your life and when you start

changing the behavior in your life the

first people to see a change in you will

be your own family they will notice it

they will notice that you’re not the

same anymore you don’t talk the same you

don’t act the same you don’t go to the

same places you don’t even have the same

friends anymore and this necessarily

happens when you take a turn towards

Islam necessarily you start losing

friends because you’re old friends used

to do pretty bad things and now you

can’t do those things with them anymore

so you suffer a loss of friends and at

the same time your family starts saying

you’re acting a little too weird and for

the young man the family might even say

what’s that thing on your face you

forgot to shave what happened to you and

the girl starts wearing the job and the

family might even be in shock and this

is a Muslim family mind you they’ll say

take that thing off your head

you’re gonna go out to the wedding

looking like that I can’t sit in the car

with you like that what do you think we

are who do you all of a sudden you’re

the Islamic role model who died and made

you share that all of a sudden we should

be looking up to you remember what you

were like last year man you were the

party animal now you’re going to go make

Celaya seriously please we know what

you’re really like in other words this

now Dom not only have you lost your

friends from your family you get the

nastiest kinds of sarcasm and criticism

all the time all the time every chance

they get they say something to you they

say something about your beard they say

something about your habits of making

Salah this is something about you going

to the Ignite convention this is

something about putting your children in

Islamic school this is something about

sending your children to Sunday School

are you getting up for fudger or a Shia

and going to the Masjid they’ll have

some comments for you and those comments

hurt they burn pretty

good this happens to young men in the

audience where their parents start

telling them to stop hanging out with

their other Muslim friends don’t go to

the Masjid don’t waste your time I will

lie him myself know of stories where the

father found out that in between classes

the son used it because his classes were

3-4 hours apart in between classes he

used to go to the Masjid to pray though

and just study at the Masjid instead of

studying at the library where there’s

plenty of things to look at might as

well go make Salah and pray in the

masjid i’ll be safer that way dad finds

out you’re becoming an extremist son and

what is the extremism in the eye of the

father that the boy is making Salah in

the machine that’s extremism for him

subhanAllah with Muslims themselves

you think non-muslims are averse to

Islam have you seen what Muslim families

are doing to their own what parents are

doing to their children I know of cases

myself where parents said we will not

pay your college tuition we will not

look for a wedding made for you until

you take that job off we will not do it

you do not accept you as our daughter

until you take that thing off we will

not show our face in public with you you

can’t go with us anywhere this is the

mother Talent and you know what they’ll

say what’s amazing about that they’ll

make you feel bad about yourself they’ll

tell you what kind of daughter are you

you should be ashamed to yourself you’re

embarrassing your parents we’re Muslim

but we’re not Muslim Muslim

we’re not that we’re not those kind of

Muslims that’s not how we do things in

our family that’s what they’ll say our

family is different we don’t do things

like that in our family that’s those

moistured people don’t be like those

mustard people that’s what they’ll say

and you know what’s amazing about that

if you look at a portrait of your

great-grandparents from back in the day

good old great grandpa’s got a big old

beard and you can’t even see grandma’s

face so who’s being true to the family

and who’s an embarrassment to the family

see this is Muslim families today and

you’re in the midst of all of this and

you know what happens because you’ve

made a decision to turn towards Islam if

an enemy of Islam came to you and said

abandon your

religion you’d say oh yeah I’m gonna be

even more committed you would become

energized in your zeal for the religion

when the enemy attacks Islam we’d get

even more fired up Muslims get fired up

in the craziest of ways if somebody

draws a cartoon about the messenger

sallallaahu said I’m and Muslims go

crazy and they’ll burn some other guy’s

car up or break somebody else because

they’re really angry but we get fired up

when when something happens some

something questions the dignity of our

religion even if it makes sense or

doesn’t make sense but when your own

family comes and says look I love you

I’m worried about you I don’t want you

to become this way this is the way of

the people who fail out of college you

don’t have a career who have miserable

lives I don’t want you to fall into this

extreme somebody is somebody’s putting

you under their influence you need to

get away from them they’re the ones

pulling you away so how do you deal with

that the most inappropriate response to

this pressure is anger and you know what

that is the most common response to your

parents start yelling at you for growing

the beard and you’re a young hot-blooded

guy what do you do oh yeah it’s the son

knob you can’t tell me what to do you’re

following culture and I’m trying to

follow Islam and you slam the door in

their face way to go because that’s what

Allah wants you to do yell back at your

parents and their just take till they’re

talking about your beard what was if

Raheem’s father talking about

alehissalaam was he talking about

something small or something big

go make such that the idols boy and the

sea-doos is cool does he get angry we

have to learn how to be with our parents

as even when they call you away from

Dean it doesn’t matter if they’re Muslim

or not well in Jogja Dhaka Allah –

Shaniqua B Malaysia that can be here and

felt Otero ma voix Sahib Roja Moffet

duniya alpha allah azza wajal tells us

if they struggle against you to make you

follow what they themselves have no

knowledge of don’t obey them while at

the same time accompanying them in the

most dignified fashion obeying them is

separate respecting them is separate

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848
00:33:08,060 –> 00:00:00,000
Jerzy como la jolla

the lhasa salallahu alayhi wasalam

actually had a specified time where he

would teach women where he would do that

especially the women of medina and

actually the women of medina were

different from the women of Makkah they

were actually a lot more bold and the

Sahaba even noticed their morbol like

Ramona the Eliza they’re not like the

women of Makkah so there was a

difference between them and their

outspoken and we even know that from

like you know many Arthur and many

hadith texts like you know how mothers

giving a football of the Allahu and when

a woman gets up and says you can’t say

that Allah said this like lady why are

you not in the sister section behind a

glass

why are you oh and you’re talking about

all about you don’t want to like point a

finger at Omar like that but she did

this is like gutsy lady you know he did

that and you know there are sometimes

there are assumptions that men and women

should not interact with each other at

all under any circumstance that’s what

Islam wants that isn’t true as a matter

of fact non-mac had a man and woman

talking to each other in public outside

is mentioned in the Quran musa alayhis

salam went up to two girls that were not

his madam then he went over and talked

to them is about what’s wrong with you

ladies Mahatma come on what’s wrong with

you and they said well we can’t feed our

animals until the whole flock is done

they had a conversation he didn’t go up

to them it says Salam or aleikum

what about to lie about a cat oh yeah oh

yeah

my two sisters in Islam he doesn’t know

even if they’re no Muslims they don’t

know they don’t know him he doesn’t know

them they don’t know he’s musa alayhis

salaam they don’t know that they don’t

know any of that but they had a

conversation with each other and now I’m

talking to another non-muslim about what

a problem there they were wrestling with

sheep so you have to go talk to them

what are you doing what’s going on can I

help with something but he didn’t talk

prolong the conversation he kept it to

the point what are we learning in Quran

if you keep your conversation to the

point it’s fine

you will let you might have a female

co-worker you might have a class I have

students I have to answer their

questions they have a right to me as

much as the brothers ever

to me cuz I’m teaching your class it’s a

matter of justice I can’t put them in

the back and not give them the same kind

of attention that fair and I brought

this up if is it fair or not this is no

it’s acceptable

there are llama that are more

conservative on this and there are Lamar

Lamar that allow it to but there are

plenty of mainstream medicine now across

the schools of thought scholars that

allow this then allow for example this

kind of setting if it’s meant with

certain kind of restrictions you know

there shouldn’t be small talk it mean if

I crack a joke it’s to the entire

audience not the sisters by themselves

is it because that’s inappropriate

that’s not right right and you’re

supposed to have a you know a certain

line there’s supposed to be a certain

line of discomfort between you and

myself or between you and any other non

maximum there’s supposed to be a line of

discomfort there’s supposed to be a

level of seriousness you’re not supposed

to be giggly when you come up

individually in and talk to a nominal

matter man you’re not supposed to be

like no I have a question brother you

said this why

learn to be like that learn to be like

well then learn not to be giggly around

non Mahara men if not smiley does a

kalau hidden for so many things you’re

doing no say that on your own don’t come

up and say to me don’t come up and say

to me say that to your dad there’s like

a long hidin Baba you’re so awesome

great when you come up to a non become

if it’s your teacher if it’s the imam of

the masjid if it’s your employer keep a

serious tone keep a serious tone you

know when a woman uses a serious tone

the man becomes serious automatically

girl comes up to you you think she’s

kind of pretty she comes up Jesus a

Michael you’re not gonna get you play

around now it’s done it’s over but she

can look Jesus now I think I have to lay

I got no good no good for you

then you be like oh why Dickens enough

well you know that’s bad for you so you

you know you have to keep it as a stern

voice and these rules I’m kind of

Ludington that’s Luton already covers

them these rules are already there you

have to keep a stern voice you have to

keep your eyes low as well it doesn’t

mean you don’t look away like brother I

have a question like you do that hi

there but you don’t stare at the person

you know yes sister do ask in the phone

not like that not like that yeah what

you mean I’m sorry you mean I will do

not mean I’m sorry and that’s normal

it’s not like over the top of the idea

is to keep yourself low don’t don’t

stare you know make just enough eye

contact to get your point across and

that’s it that’s that’s all you don’t

need more than that

you know so this these these certain

things they are the guidelines by which

public settings make it make it make it

okay

my teacher told me a story one time of a

man who was walking with his son in the

park and they’re walking together and

his son looked at a crow in a tree and

he said Baba what’s that it’s like two

year old kid baba said it’s a crow and

he said uh-huh

what’s that it’s a crow okay Baba what’s

that

it’s the grow o grow what’s that it’s a

girl it went on for ten minutes he has

some 30 times he counted that kept a

score and he put it in his little

Journal my sign today we were walking in

the park asked me about a crow 30 times

it was the cutest thing in the world

thirty years go by the Sun is not too

the Sun is thirty two Sun fall father

calls him son can I come over

dad it’s not a good time right now so

I’m just just bear with me I just need

that 10 to 15 minutes that’s all I need

just go for a drive I need to talk to

you about something whatever you know

what okay fine so he comes over gets in

the car

they go over drive over to a park what’s

this about dad can you tell me quickly I

got things to do just take a walk with

me son it’s okay I’ll take a walk see

your crow in a tree the dad says son

what’s that seriously father it’s a crow

Oh

son what’s that is this a game

I have things to do okay it’s a crow

it’s like you can’t see I just got you

new glasses last one how is this why is

this happening to me dad why are you so

difficult I don’t understand what the

problem is just tell me what you really

want I’m busy okay the dad pulls out his

journal it’s the son this is something

that happened 30 years ago we were

walking down this part you saw a crow

and you asked me 30 times and I give you

a smile every time you couldn’t handle

twice what are we giving our pants

I’m not even bringing a line to the

picture the fact that Allah mentioned

himself and then mentioned his parents

is you think about that what have they

done for us and what have we done for

them what have we done for them how many

parents they like their children are in

ICUs and they stand there and so

hovering over this little glass box with

a baby inside 24 hours a day 7 days a

week standing in a hospital not even

sitting down standing in a hospital like

eating off feeding off of like vending

machines and that same kid grows up and

doesn’t have the time to call that same

kid you know how many mothers almost

died giving birth almost died giving

birth and now it’s so difficult to

respond to her call or just give her

just a couple of minutes a day this is

let her feel a little important now how

unfair that is that the you were the

most important thing to them and your

they are so insignificant to you how

unfair that is you know they carry that

pain with them every day that I am

nothing to my check my children I mean

nothing’s that worthless to them

you know they have no time for me when

something is worth something to you it

gets your time most of you at this age

you want to just get away from your

parents there’s a lot of reason with

your friends you want to be on your own

you just don’t want to be with your

parents you know that’s you you develop

this crooked habit now and it will only

get worse over time our parents have

very very very strong emotions they’re

very protective of us for them you won’t

know this until you become a parent for

them it doesn’t matter when you turn 60

you’re still their baby they still they

still remember changing your diaper they

still remember feeding you milk this

still remember burping you and cleaning

up after you you know peed in the

backseat they still remember that you

don’t remember that they remember that

my son won’t remember that was a cup I

gotta go I gotta go I gotta go then all

of a sudden he stops complaining about

all

time to roll down the window you know

they start side by what toy are we gonna

get for either like oh okay

this has not been a good day for the car

but what he’s graduating college and

when the one day is getting married and

one day he has his own he’s not gonna

remember that

but guess we’ll never forget I’ll never

forget I’ll never forget carrying him

into a bathroom cleaning him up changing

his clothes I’m blond

but the spider-man pajamas on he won’t

remember he won’t remember any of that

I will I will and that same kid he’s

talking back to me one day when he’s

telling me dad I just don’t understand

you okay I don’t have time right now

when he does it’s gonna hurt man that’s

gonna hurt that’s what you do the other

parents also what I do to my parents

they were our life they were they give

up their life for us our parents gave up

careers for us our parents gave up

vacations for us our parents gave up

friends for us you know that I know that

now I didn’t know that then you they had

an entire life planned until you came

along

and then you became their plan you

became everything and you have the nerve

one thing doesn’t go your way you know

one thing you don’t want to hear you

snap back at them

it’s just we’re not even talking about

Islam right now we’re just talking about

decency man just decency what what have

they done for you and what you give them

back is so unfair it is so unfair my

dad’s so annoying my mom saw this there

so it’s always mad they’re never happy

there’s this there’s that what are you

what about you I’m telling you I can’t

say this enough times if you don’t earn

your parents does nothing good will come

of your life nothing good will come of

your life if they’re not happy

if you haven’t done everything you can

to make them happy

so let’s now talk in this few minutes we

have together about how to at least

practically build that solution I like

to talk you know when we talk about

reminders we talk about grand things

when we talk about advice I believe in

talking about advice from a very

practical even minimalist point of view

things that you can practically do and

that’s why I don’t like to share much

personally even though I read them for

myself for inspiration I don’t like to

share stories of the tabulator whenever

I’m the Sahaba the companions of the

prophet or the aloha ajma’in who prayed

the entire night or reciting the whole

Quran in a week or made Dorai and then

it started right out of those stories I

don’t share them you know why because

you know what happens so most of you

when you hear that man they were so

awesome I’m so bad Salaam alaikum

that’s the end of that man Sabah were

really cool I’m so going to hell that’s

it that’s that let’s start little by

little I wanna lay the Kitab from my in

Hemet the arabs have a saying it says if

you it’s in many other cultures to the

first of the heavy rain is just a drop

there that pours right let it build

little by little the first thing you

gotta do is you have to discipline your

life people I have to do it you have to

do it you know what it means to

discipline your life go to sleep early

pray assha and go to sleep don’t go to

the hole cut joint until 12:30 a.m.

don’t go see a movie

don’t go hang out with your friends

don’t watch Islamic lectures until 2:00

in the morning do not it is not

beneficial for you pray Asia and go to

sleep and wake up early wake up before

fudger

give yourself 30 minutes 15 minutes 20 I

know it seems impossible it’s only

impossible because of Netflix at night

okay

that’s the only reason it’s impossible

give the night life up let the night be

for sleep at least you’re not

accumulating sin every night at least

you’re not burying your heart under more

sin every night at least you’re sleeping

at least you’re innocent for that much

and leaves that much then you wake up

and you pray at least start with a

routine of praying fudge you’re on time

start with fudge on and the guys here at

least at least once a week guys make it

to the Masjid for fudger

at least why I don’t ask you every day

just one day a week give yourselves one

day a week and you don’t catch the

second in a cow right before the Salam

right and then after you finish making

it up you’re like all mushed it today

that’s right

you’re like pointing at the right hand

you wrote that down you got that you got

that yeah get to the mush said early let

me tell you something about fudger in

the masjid it has a spiritual impact

that only people who go to it will

experience it can’t be explained in a

lecture when you go to it when you go to

the prayer and you sit there into my

quietly and you wait for the prayer

to start and you sit there and you

recite Quran and you ask a lot of

forgive you in those morning hours and

then you stand next to other believers

and countless armies of angels and you

stand and you pray in front of Allah and

that early morning giving up your sleep

which only happened because you gave up

your night life when you do that even

once a week the joy you will get out of

it you will as you are walking out of

the machine you will wish to yourself

you did that every morning I swear to it

I guarantee you you’re gonna walk out of

that machine saying man I wish I could

do this every morning

you really will let’s start with once a

week start with once a week

this idea of a head one there’s one of

the great writers on Islamic theology in

Pakistan actually Raphael Dean dr.

Raphael Dean commenting on the Sola said

something amazing and I really

appreciated it because I think for

modern audiences this kind of stuff

needs to be said and heard Allah created

the human being with the knowledge of

himself the human being knew already

there is this highest ideal Allah Azza

WA JAL and not just that there is a God

and he created us and now we can do

whatever we want no he’s the rub he’s

the master he’s the my goal in life is

to do what he wants this is my highest

ideal my greatest accomplishment ever

can be that I become his slave that

would be the greatest honor I can have

the messenger of allah salallahu alaihe

salam his greatest honor so Hamlet es la

be a Buddha he he becomes a habit of

Allah the save of Allah is a great honor

that’s the goal in life and a lot of

pre-programmed that goal inside every

single human being but if you lose sight

of that goal it is like this you know

you have this thirst this hunger inside

you to fulfill that goal Allah created

you with that but when your appetite is

not filled with healthy food what do you

fill it with if you don’t get the right

meal are you gonna say I’m not gonna eat

at all no when a person is starving and

there’s no food of their preference or

there’s no healthy food

there’s even filth barks of trees will

the human being still start chewing on

that when he’s when it comes to that

they will when you lose sight of Allah

as Oh again and that no longer is your

goal then necessarily you will find a

replacement necessarily it is necessary

to have something you aspire towards

that is the mission of your life the one

who has found Allah what becomes what

happens to them in NASA Lahti well new

tsuki

huama hyah huama mati lillahi rabbil

alameen it’s very simple for them the

one who has really found Allah there’s a

lives for Allah their sacrifices for

Allah their life and their death is now

for Allah the way they live the way they

eat the way they sleep what they want to

do what their

their long-term goals their short-term

goals what are they gonna do with their

kids why are they getting an education

where they’re gonna work everything is

now for Allah that is their goal but for

the one who doesn’t have that goal they

have to find another goal and in old

times they used to be idols they used to

be other religions you find some other

God but in our times that’s become far

more pathetic far more pathetic now you

have someone who’s obsessed with their

body and they’re working out 18 hours a

day and their only goal in life their

only goal in life is to just keep

getting buffer and buffer it’s the only

goal take star and look sharp and stay

on top keep in shape or there’s this

goal they set with their trainer I got

to do this many reps or I got to do this

many push-ups or I gotta get benchpress

this many pounds etc that’s their goal

that has become the illah for a person

that their life has become about money

they have you met people they cannot

talk about anything except their work

they can’t yeah I work at this company I

do this this business and the moment

they lose their job they become suicidal

because that’s all they ever thought

about that’s all they ever did with

their life that’s all they ever did that

becomes their goal for some people it’s

their children they live for their

children they do everything for their

children day and night they think about

their children there is no other thought

running in their mind there is no other

goal before them than their children

that is all they run after when you

don’t find him you will find something

else you will find something else and

you will run after it and you will give

your life to it and this is a there is

no exception among human beings and

today it could be even a slacker you

grab and you could ask me what about a

slacker in all those kids that play 20

hours of video games a day and don’t get

off the couch well what is their goal it

is to entertain themselves it is to fry

their brain cells behind the screen that

is their ultimate goal that is what they

want to reach and there they’re working

hard to attain it every day right that’s

what it becomes these are the

psychological implications of

understanding to hate it is easy to say

Allah is one but is he one in my life it

is easy easy the one for me or do I have

some other one that I’m running out

or some other thing that I put before

myself Allah asked this question

rhetorically he says mouth because

Kadeem what deluded you from your

gracious master what was so important to

you that you ran after that you couldn’t

come after this ha

so how Allah so when he uses this word

who Allahu Ahad it’s psychological

implications its implications on our

attitude towards Allah and how we think

about our life completely changes now

there is nothing more important to me

than making him happy nothing more

important to me than him being pleased

with me nothing more important to me

than he forgiving me nothing more

important that me that he would talk to

me on the day of judgment telling me

that I’m successful he would look

towards me I will not be from the ones

he turns away from when I you can Li mo

home alarm and teamö Allah will not talk

to them on the day of judgement may

Allah not make us from those people

these are some of the psychological

implications of just internalizing ahead

I had just that word what Allah is

saying somehow this is who Allah is this

is what he’s supposed to do and I want

to conclude because it’s like time for

Salah with the following this is the I

can’t quote it model because I’m

terrible at or do but I’ll tell you the

meaning of the verse ok although I like

the verse myself so it’s poetry but he

says what used to be he’s talking about

it’s a poet Oh he’d it’s a poem about

though he’d and he says what used to be

something that burned in the hearts of

men when burned in the hearts of men is

now a subject of abstract philosophical

debate that’s what he says now what is

though hate to us today debates

discussions abstract discussions in you

know in theology that have no end to

them no end to them but what it used to

be was something that burned inside the

hearts am i fulfilling the rights of a

head yet am i doing justice to that I

had yet may Allah make us of the people

of tawheed may Allah give us in our

hearts what bird the likes of which

burned in the heart of ibraheem

alehissalaam

and the Messenger of Allah and the

Sahaba of the allahu anhu much marine

will continue the story of Yusuf idea

Saddam can be broken up into twelve

parts

if you know the story you can easily as

it is in surah-e-yusuf

you can break it up into twelve parts

I’ll tell you I am Telling You this when

I was in college before I was even

interested in Islam I took a course

called world literature and in that

course we studied some parts of Plato’s

Republic Aristotle we even studied

actually the Communist Manifesto we read

something from the Confucius we read

some things from the Bible we had

something from the Quran and at the time

I didn’t know any Arabic when we took

this course one of our homework

assignments was to compare the story of

Joseph in the Bible to the story of use

of race that I’m in the Quran there was

a homework assignment and the only thing

I had was the translation I’ll tell you

what happened at the end of that

homework assignment later but let’s go

back to this

how many parts did I say the story has

what Sudan number is it anyone know 12

solar number 12 has two parts

interestingly anyway here’s the first

part use of under his Salam sees a dream

the second part his brothers make a plan

against him the third part and by the

way the plan succeeds and he’s taken

away from his family you know what

happens the third major part the wife of

the minister tries to seduce Yusuf

alayhi Salaam the test that he was put

through so the first part was the dream

the second was the brothers the third

was the wife of the minister the fourth

one was when she called the ladies she

called all of the ladies and they also

fell in and they you know did what they

did with the knife they weren’t very

good with knives and then the fifth part

Yusuf Ali he said I’m ended up in jail

you guys know that part right he was

falsely accused and he went in jail the

sixth part is when the King had a dream

and he couldn’t figure out what the

dream means what kind of animal did he

see in the dream call it out loud hmm

a cow there you go this that’s a very

loud cow over there okay now the seventh

part is that the dream that he had gets

interpreted by Yusuf alehissalaam so he

doesn’t know what to do with the dream

they sent for you so far they Saddam he

interprets the dream the eighth part is

Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released from

prison he gets out of prison the ninth

part is the women remember those ladies

the knives they confess they admit that

they did something wrong the tenth part

the wife of the minister also confesses

the eleventh part the brothers learned

their lesson you know the brothers who

put him in the well in the beginning now

we’re in part 11 and they learned their

lesson final part part 12 the dream of

use of alehissalaam gets interpreted

finally he knows what that that we love

the was the interpretation of the dream

was okay how many parts did I say again

well now listen carefully

part one he sees a dream part 12 the

dream gets interpreted part 2 the

brothers make a scheme against him part

11 backwards the brothers learned their

lesson and they asked for forgiveness

part 3 the life of the minister tries to

scheme against Yusuf part 10 going

backwards

the wife confesses that she was wrong

part 4 the ladies tried to seduce or say

something about Yusuf money Saddam heart

nothing the lady’s confess part 5 Yusuf

Hani Salaam goes to jail going backwards

part 8 Yusuf alayhi Salaam is released

from prison part 6 the King sees a dream

part 7 the King’s dream is interpreted

this is not a book it was a speech there

was no editing there was no here are the

12 parts let’s put part 1 and part 12 r2

and part 11 part 3 in part 10 it wasn’t

like that it was given as a surah that

also say some recited it and just in

that recitation it has this perfect

symmetry so Hanna mamma jamma Hassan

Kadam

now maybe you were such a person maybe

you were a person that wasn’t very

religious at all and you were living

life like the rest of your extended

family but something came in your heart

and you said you know what I’m gonna

take this guidance seriously I don’t

know how it happened maybe Allah made it

happen through some YouTube video huh

it happened through some hot boy you

heard or a friend or however it happened

but you decided to make a change for the

better in your life and when you start

changing the behavior in your life the

first people to see a change in you will

be your own family they will notice it

they will notice that you’re not the

same anymore you don’t talk the same you

don’t act the same you don’t go to the

same places you don’t even have the same

friends anymore and this necessarily

happens when you take a turn towards

Islam necessarily you start losing

friends because you’re old friends used

to do pretty bad things and now you

can’t do those things with them anymore

so you suffer a loss of friends and at

the same time your family starts saying

you’re acting a little too weird and for

the young man the family might even say

what’s that thing on your face you

forgot to shave what happened to you and

the girl starts wearing the job and the

family might even be in shock and this

is a Muslim family mind you they’ll say

take that thing off your head

you’re gonna go out to the wedding

looking like that I can’t sit in the car

with you like that what do you think we

are who do you all of a sudden you’re

the Islamic role model who died and made

you share that all of a sudden we should

be looking up to you remember what you

were like last year man you were the

party animal now you’re going to go make

Celaya seriously please we know what

you’re really like in other words this

now Dom not only have you lost your

friends from your family you get the

nastiest kinds of sarcasm and criticism

all the time all the time every chance

they get they say something to you they

say something about your beard they say

something about your habits of making

Salah this is something about you going

to the Ignite convention this is

something about putting your children in

Islamic school this is something about

sending your children to Sunday School

are you getting up for fudger or a Shia

and going to the Masjid they’ll have

some comments for you and those comments

hurt they burn pretty

good this happens to young men in the

audience where their parents start

telling them to stop hanging out with

their other Muslim friends don’t go to

the Masjid don’t waste your time I will

lie him myself know of stories where the

father found out that in between classes

the son used it because his classes were

3-4 hours apart in between classes he

used to go to the Masjid to pray though

and just study at the Masjid instead of

studying at the library where there’s

plenty of things to look at might as

well go make Salah and pray in the

masjid i’ll be safer that way dad finds

out you’re becoming an extremist son and

what is the extremism in the eye of the

father that the boy is making Salah in

the machine that’s extremism for him

subhanAllah with Muslims themselves

you think non-muslims are averse to

Islam have you seen what Muslim families

are doing to their own what parents are

doing to their children I know of cases

myself where parents said we will not

pay your college tuition we will not

look for a wedding made for you until

you take that job off we will not do it

you do not accept you as our daughter

until you take that thing off we will

not show our face in public with you you

can’t go with us anywhere this is the

mother Talent and you know what they’ll

say what’s amazing about that they’ll

make you feel bad about yourself they’ll

tell you what kind of daughter are you

you should be ashamed to yourself you’re

embarrassing your parents we’re Muslim

but we’re not Muslim Muslim

we’re not that we’re not those kind of

Muslims that’s not how we do things in

our family that’s what they’ll say our

family is different we don’t do things

like that in our family that’s those

moistured people don’t be like those

mustard people that’s what they’ll say

and you know what’s amazing about that

if you look at a portrait of your

great-grandparents from back in the day

good old great grandpa’s got a big old

beard and you can’t even see grandma’s

face so who’s being true to the family

and who’s an embarrassment to the family

see this is Muslim families today and

you’re in the midst of all of this and

you know what happens because you’ve

made a decision to turn towards Islam if

an enemy of Islam came to you and said

abandon your

religion you’d say oh yeah I’m gonna be

even more committed you would become

energized in your zeal for the religion

when the enemy attacks Islam we’d get

even more fired up Muslims get fired up

in the craziest of ways if somebody

draws a cartoon about the messenger

sallallaahu said I’m and Muslims go

crazy and they’ll burn some other guy’s

car up or break somebody else because

they’re really angry but we get fired up

when when something happens some

something questions the dignity of our

religion even if it makes sense or

doesn’t make sense but when your own

family comes and says look I love you

I’m worried about you I don’t want you

to become this way this is the way of

the people who fail out of college you

don’t have a career who have miserable

lives I don’t want you to fall into this

extreme somebody is somebody’s putting

you under their influence you need to

get away from them they’re the ones

pulling you away so how do you deal with

that the most inappropriate response to

this pressure is anger and you know what

that is the most common response to your

parents start yelling at you for growing

the beard and you’re a young hot-blooded

guy what do you do oh yeah it’s the son

knob you can’t tell me what to do you’re

following culture and I’m trying to

follow Islam and you slam the door in

their face way to go because that’s what

Allah wants you to do yell back at your

parents and their just take till they’re

talking about your beard what was if

Raheem’s father talking about

alehissalaam was he talking about

something small or something big

go make such that the idols boy and the

sea-doos is cool does he get angry we

have to learn how to be with our parents

as even when they call you away from

Dean it doesn’t matter if they’re Muslim

or not well in Jogja Dhaka Allah –

Shaniqua B Malaysia that can be here and

felt Otero ma voix Sahib Roja Moffet

duniya alpha allah azza wajal tells us

if they struggle against you to make you

follow what they themselves have no

knowledge of don’t obey them while at

the same time accompanying them in the

most dignified fashion obeying them is

separate respecting them is separate

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